I am so tired

[picture credit: via weheartit]

I'm once again running out of steam.

Someone once asked me... actually, make that a few someones.

A few someones once asked me how I managed to stay at work till so late, have so much life out of work and still come in to work every day looking so fresh. I think it's all in the state of mind and slapping on make up of course. Some black eyeliner and mascara and I look super awake. Some BB cream and blusher and I don't look too haggard. I think they did not catch me at my sleepy hours in the afternoon where even toothpicks would break under my heavy lids.

My state of mind isn't at its optimum level recently. Positive thinking doesn't work once more. The last time this happened was a few months back. I'm tired physically and mentally. I wish I could just lay in bed and sleep for hours and days.

Work is killing me AGAIN. I've been handling everything so well since the formation of my new my dept till the CNY where we lost quite a bit of speed and could never catch up since. It doesn't help when on top of all our regular tasks, new tasks have been assigned at an exponential rate. The many HOD meetings, dept meetings and just so many other meetings have been zapping lots of work time away too. To be fair, the meetings were most of the time fruitful but they can't make up for lost time. I haven't even gotten on to all the trainings, presentations and talks.

I'm so sleepy at 1.30am and it's a mean feat for an insomniac to be sleepy at this time. It's a great cause to celebrate for it seems that my body clock has resumed its state of normalcy. Yet, I'm not able to sleep as I've yet to finish my work. I thought I've gotten it all worked out by settling all my personal stuff this weekend and pushing whatever unfinished work away from Sunday by going into office earlier in the morning but silly me forgot that I've got a crucial lesson in the morning to attend.

I'm starting to feel really disgruntled coz it dawned on me that I would NEVER EVER be able to fulfil half of my goals which I've set last April if I don't do something about the current situation.

On a happier note, I attended the wedding of a good friend of mine earlier and it was such an enjoyable evening. It was a lovely wedding! It started way earlier coz we had some surprise for her. I hope it made her day. On the downside, I think having too many good friends is not easy to juggle. Someone "big" at work told me that I've got too many friends and too many activities happening in my life that it's difficult for me to balance work life, family life and social life and not feel drained. You know what? He is so damn right and I don't like it. Even though he says life is not all about work and it's very good to include my family and friends, I do need time for myself as well. Actually when he said that, I wonder if he really meant it otherwise.

I'm contemplating making that huge decision which I've been wavering on and off the past few years. We'll see how it goes.

For now, I would just sleep everything away.



PS: Thank you all for reading, commenting and following. I truly appreciate all your thoughts. Pardon me if I take a long time to get back to you during this period. I might be going on a short hiatus here to get my balance back. I will continue to check my email for notifications and read your messages from there.

Adios!