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Monday, October 10, 2005

Constipated diarrhoea

Warning: Long post

I’ve been really busy these 2 weeks. I’ve not come online for a long time and even if I do, I try to clear my unread mails and that’s that. No replies to emails, no chatting on msn, no viewing of blogs and updating of friends’ lives. Just 5 minutes of my sister’s precious time and away I zipped from her computer.

I wanna blog about sooooo many things. I feel so constipated.

Now I shall suffer from diarrhoea.

I die-le-ma? (dilemma) coz of work

History repeats itself again and again… Term break is totally no break!

It seems like just yesterday when I wrote an entry on term break is no break at all.

This term break was worse! It clashed with my cousin’s PSLE and so I have to juggle work and tuition. I practically worked everyday, often staying till the sun has gone way down and the moon high up, coming back on a Sunday (we don’t have to work on term break Sundays but come back on Tuesdays), bringing home my work to do, staying up till 3+ 4am, and even engaging kh to help me cut my countless material and “chauffeur” me around work, tuition and home.

And still, I can’t finish my work.

Both em and me wanted to cry at that time manz… the 2 year old team was damn stressed with the never-ending materials Fortunately hh has got nice colleagues who not only helped us with our work, but de-stressed us by having a little K-session, blasting I-tunes from the stupid I-mac, playing songs as old as Faye Wong’s zhi mi bu hui. While hh's 2 year old team’s material was almost complete, sp’s 2 year old team had gone bonkers.

For the past week, I really hated work. I hated my job.

[Notice how I used the past tense. I’m still wavering between “hate” and “hated” actually.]

I was so contemplating quitting after “my time is up”. But the children and nice parents really made my day.

Aside from the busy-ness, we had a change in system and now all the instructors don’t have our own classrooms. We had no sense of belonging at all. Our personal belongings are all over the place and we don’t have a proper space to do our work. Much precious time was wasted too. We felt lost, confused, flustered, angry at not being able to do work when we had so much to do and absolutely pissed off. The whole system sucked big time! Also, many instructors had changes in their classes and I really feel very sorry for those who had their favourite classes taken away and passing on to other teachers as they took on other teachers’ ones. I was really thankful that my timetable had not much changes and that I got to teach my favourite classes again this term.

For this new beginning of the term, I asked parents to share with the class anything that make them proud of themselves or just happy with themselves recently. Even if their lives are very hectic, miserable or mundane, there definitely had to be small little things in life that make them happy right? If not life must have been really very stressful and sad case.

Some parents were happy that their child learnt how to swim, skate, cycle.

Some parents were happy that their children’s concentration spans have improved.

Some parents were happy that their children were so lively despite being sick and down with fever.

Some parents were happy that their children had fun doing the school’s worksheets… finally.

Some parents were happy that they had a great holiday at various destinations during the term break and spent great family time together.

Some parents were very happy that their children enjoyed coming for lessons very much.

One parents was very proud of herself for being able to bathe her kid all by herself when previously she needed her maid to help.

One parent shared that she wrote two poems for her hubby that day and that later that night they were going out to have dinner, just the two of them. So sweet!

There were so many things they shared… simply too many to type out. But I realized that most of the parents’ joys revolved around their kids and their family. Most of them are simple little joys, simple little things that make them proud of themselves. It was good to share with the rest of the class as we laughed and swooned together at what some of the parents said.

It was really very heartwarming to hear all those and even more so to see parents walking out of class with a smile.

Amidst all the confusion in change of classrooms and sometimes change of teacher, all the flusters and angers at last minute changes, it was really beautiful to see all those smiles.

And as usual, all the children were so sweet and cute that they transformed “hate” to “hated”.

Applying this to myself, I believe that my life certainly has got to have some little joy in it despite the busy-ness so let me share them too.

I was very happy to be able to sleep in peace finally. No more nightmares of unfinished work, change of classes etc etc.

I was very happy to received emails from friends. I’ve not received one for a long time. But hehe… I haven’t replied them yet.

I was very happy that my dad tried to fetch me home from tuition even though he is busy as he knew I was really exhausted. And happy that my mum always offered my dad and psycho my dad to fetch me saying how pathetic I am… haha.

I was very happy that kh would always rush down to tpy to fetch me to tuition each time I run late when I give the excuse that I’ve already taken cab 5 times so far to teach my cousin due to my not leaving work on time. And really really happy coz so far, he hasn’t grumbled at all when he used to in the past. Each time I got into the car, he would greet me with “Quit your bloody low pay, work like shit job la’ with a smile. No anger, no grumbling, no disgruntling.

I was very happy to meet up with some friends whom I haven’t seen for a long time and do a little shopping at the same time. I met up with xtina and bei 2 Wednesdays ago. I realized that the last time I saw bei was the 1st time I blogged here. Yup… my 2nd entry of my blog. And those photos promised never came as her comp crashed.

This time we had photos.

Pretty ang mo model in the background who overshadowed us.  Posted by Picasa

bei n me Posted by Picasa

bei n me again Posted by Picasa

bei n xtina. Posted by Picasa

xtina n me Posted by Picasa

I was very happy to see grace (mei mei) and cynthia (mummy) as well as her 2 kids.

Us and 2 kids  Posted by Picasa

So many memories… I got to know cyn when we went Perth together and clicked instantly like good friends. There, we got to know grace at this restaurant. I don’t know how total strangers thrown into each other’s paths can click like xiao zhar bors.

Us in Perth being very xiao. Posted by Picasa

That was in 2002. 3 years ago!!! But it feels like it was not long ago. I recalled taking sooooooo many silly shots that night. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil, Charlie’s Angels, Statue of Liberty. But hey, my folder doesn’t have all those photos. I hope you gals still have them.

I was very happy to see my jase jase too! The cheeky little cry baby.

Godma is cleaning my drool coz I must look good in the photos. Posted by Picasa

Godma says I’m not photogenic leh. I have a ku gua lian and tu tu mouth. I swear I look cuter real life. Posted by Picasa

Ring Ring… I have to pick up a call if you would excuse me… Posted by Picasa

Hello? Xiang kar handphone? Posted by Picasa

Last of all, I'm very happy to be able to use the computer leisurely at my own pace and surf whatever I want. And of course, happy to blog!

The mane issue

Ok... people who are not interested in bimbotic stuff and guyz can stop reading here.

On my black roots…

My mum asked me when I am gonna do my hair again as the black roots are unsightly. I used to be the one who is very particular about black roots and she used to be the one who thinks they are not obvious and unsightly. This time it’s the other way round.

I answered, “I don’t even have the time to finish my work, how to go and do my hair???”

A few days later, she asked again.

I answered, “I don’t even have the time to sleep, how to go and do my hair???”

She didn’t bother me for a while.

Then she asked again.

I answered, “I don’t even have the time to eat, sleep and shit, how to go and do my hair???”

She stopped bothering me.

Kh requested for me to leave my hair alone as he hasn’t seen me with a full head of black hair since he knew me. Although we knew each other in secondary school, my hair was already un-black that time.

I told him that I couldn’t live with black hair. I can’t imagine myself with a full head of black hair. I looked at my old photos and I think I sucked. Actually all my dyed hair photos here look quite black leh... so you can imagine how I would look with totally black hair?

Also, I can’t stand my hair in half half…. Totally awful! If I were to go black, I would dye my whole head, instead of letting it grow out. Most painful, I tell you. The time factor and the living with ugliness.

I think the only thing Chinese about me are my black roots.

I looked at the mirror just to make sure my roots are not unsightly and thought maybe if I cut my fringe again, the regrowth wouldn’t be that obvious as compared to a line of black and brown.

And now I wonder if I should cut bangs.

I also wonder what I should do to my hair. It’s at its longest now. I haven’t had such long hair before. I planned to leave it even longer and perm it wavy. But everybody who knows how lazy I am warned me against perming.

I’m so wishy washy. In the past, I can just leave my hair long, and cut it short and leave it long again and cut it short. I could decide to trim my hair one minute and when the scissors went snip snip snip and could just say, “I’ve decided I want it short.” Now just a question of whether to cut my fringe or not is taking me such a long time to decide. A lot of factors to consider la. Fringe looks fresh and cute with hair let down, on the other hand, fringe don’t look good in caps, visors and with hair tied up.

See… so many factors to consider leh…

I shall go look for hairstyle photos for inspirations now.


  1. You can try cutting fringe again. Suits you.

    I'm curious.. How tall are you?

  2. Hi bwilly,

    Haven't seen you around for quite some time. Been busy at work eh?

    Yup I think I'm gonna cut my fringe later. Hope it isn't too bad.

    Why do you wanna know how tall I am? I'm short la...

  3. “I don’t even have the time to finish my work, how to go and do my hair???”

    A few days later, she asked again.

    I answered, “I don’t even have the time to sleep, how to go and do my hair???”

    She didn’t bother me for a while.

    Then she asked again.

    I answered, “I don’t even have the time to eat, sleep and shit, how to go and do my hair???”

    She stopped bothering me.

    haha, so farnie, this part!

  4. Do post up pix of your new fringe if possible!

  5. pea,

    Great to see you dropping by!

    My new fringe look would be like how I look in July...


  6. hehe, actually i've been reading your blog religiously (though I seldom read blogs lately cuz I simply have no time!)... only seldom post comments.. =)

  7. Hey pea,

    Btw I've wanted to ask you if you are from FP? How did you find your way here? Ü

  8. Wah how come your profile pictures can put so many different photos? The green cap one is quite blur.

    Just wanted to know how tall as you seem quite tall in the photos.

  9. hey jo, was surfing around when I chanced upon your site. Been reading it since. like the way your thoughts flow. smoothly and unpretentious... hehe...

  10. bwilly,

    I've changed my profile picture but seems like for different entries, people are still able to see the different photos. The green visor one was before this current one.

    Which photos you referring to? I'm 1.62m.

    My thoughts smooth huh? Hahahahaha... Me thinks they are very jumbled... haphazard. Ü


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