Of Being Struck by God and Being Peeved

I finally summoned enough courage to drag myself to my family doctor. Why do I need courage to see a doctor?

If you haven’t been reading my entries, let me remind you again that on Sunday, I suspected that I might have contracted some cirrhosis of the liver or some stomach disease. The pain was much better yesterday so I ignored everybody’s advice to see a doc. And then it came back again today.

My aunt, whose son I’m tuitioning, claimed that God has touched me for she has prayed for me the day before and reminded me to give thanks for God has healed me. She broached on the topic of attending church every Sunday yet again and joining her family at their church because simply believing in God is not enough and I have to give thanks by attending church. I guess I left my manners at home and forgot to express my gratitude to God. Thereupon, He struck me for my insolence early this morning, waking me up from my slumber just to do the loorathon. I’ve just taken part in 3 more races after the visit to my doctor.

Ah, I digress. I was on the topic of mustering courage to see a doctor. In reality, I was not afraid to be diagnosed with anything, I was simply trying to save up on medical expenses and being “cool” about it. The seriousness in my tone shocked some. But alas, I was merely mimicking Gulliver-speak in Gulliver’s Travels where he made many mountains out of many molehills. I guessed I’ve failed.

My doctor misses me. She assumed I have been very healthy for I’ve not seen her for a year. I did not reveal that I’ve been seeing the highly subsidized and sometimes free-of-charge NUS doctors at YIH. Anyway she concluded that I have germs in my guts upsetting almost every organ, even causing me to “spot” (ladies will know what that term means) and lose my sex drive. Ok, I made the last one up.

WooHoo! So now I know there’s nothing wrong with my liver, I’m gonna drink myself silly again.

Now, you people know I own a neopet right? She’s called ke3ke3 and she’s cute and she belong to the “Kacheek” species. Well, I’ve been neglecting ke3ke3 for like a year and so it’s mood has been utterly miserable. (I was surprised it could live without food for 1 year!)

This is a photo of her:

My Cute Little Ke3Ke3 



After my exams, I try to log in at least every 2 days to do all the daily neopetsy stuff. I fed it the best food and gave it the best books and even played silly games like “Kacheek Seek” just to get her involved in the action so I could see her mood improve. Did all those for weeks but her mood remains “miserable”.

So with my big fat money bag jingling with neopoints, I sauntered into Neolodge, poured all my filthy neopoints out and checked ke3ke3 into the most expensive five star deluxe hotel suite at The Presidential Palace. Ok, that isn’t the most expensive hotel, it was the second but don’t you think The Presidential Palace sounds a lot more exquisite than Astro Villa? Hello, I’m like a millionaire in Neopia, I don’t need the most expensive suite, just the most expensive sounding suite to brandish my wealth. Sometimes I feel so rich in Neopia, I feel like a pauper on earth. The virtual world is a vicious and deceiving zone, sometimes you experience eternal bliss there only to be torn back into the real world and its cruelty.

Anyway, back to my story, I ticked all 12 extra services like jacuzzi and spa and grooming and maid service etc so that she would enjoy her stay like a queen. She checked out a moment ago and sent me an email:


Hi there Jolene

Im just emailing to say that I had a great time in the NeoLodge, and now its
time for me to check out and go back to Neopia!. Thanks for being the best
owner ever, and I hope all the other Neopets are jealous :)

Speak to you soon,
ke3ke3

PS. I would like some more food!


Now I thought that was very cute for no. 1, she sounded really cute indeed and no. 2 I didn’t know she could send an email. I was touched by her sincerity and logged into www.neopets.com, expecting to witness a change in her mood from “miserable” to “euphoric”. I was peeved when her mood was “depressed”. What the f*** is she depressed about? To send that heart-warming email and feel depressed at the same time! Such a two-faced little creature! Not forgetting to mention that her hunger level was “bloated”. Fat two-faced little creature! Oh and how rude of her to address me by my name!

I Do Not Look Like Tammin Sursok!!!

I’m still not feeling too well but I will not dwell on it anymore or my friends would all be overtly concerned for my illness and advising me to “jie ai shun bian”.

I was flipping through my 2nd sis’s aussie magazines when I chanced upon this poster.

Me: “Who is this girl? She’s damn ugly. She has got a very weird look.”

2nd Sis: "No, she's not! In fact I think she looks like an “ang mo” version of u. She’s acting in Home & Away."

I don’t know whether to feel flattered or displeased. It was kind of her to retort, "No, she's not" but I really thought that celebrity has a kind of weird look. And if Home & Away is just like Days of Our Lives or Neighbours, I would feel even more unflattered.

My sis went on listing all our similarities like: same pattern, same mannerism, same hair, and same overall appearance. She thinks that it’s cool to look like a celebrity so I should start accepting that we do share some resemblance. My mother also agreed that this girl looks somewhat like me. So now I’m trying to convince myself that this girl is actually quite pretty. HAHA!

Oh by the way, this girl is Tammin Sursok. Now I’m sure none of you have heard of her before, except those studying in Australia probably. I’ll post up some pictures of her and you people be the judge.

Ok I did pose like that before but that doesn't mean our mannerism or "pattern" is similar!


This looks something like the one i saw in the magazine. Same outfit, different pose. Yes, Tammin is wearing a yellow top. My sis reminded me that I have a yellow top too. Ok, everybody who owns a yellow top looks like everybody!!


Now, I have to agree that this one looks the most like me. Why? Coz you can't see her face.


So far all the pictures of Tammin I've posted look quite pretty. Of course! The prettier ones do share some resemblance with me. =P Now, before you people pass the final judgement, this is an ugly picture of her.



See!!!! Ugly right?

Black Day

I suspect I’m suffering from cirrhosis of the liver or some stomach disease.

Yesterday, I experienced an excruciating tummy pain. Now, often when our abdomen hurts, we equate it to stomachache. But do we know exactly where our stomach is? The parts which we often feel pain are usually our upper abdomen just below our ribs and the lower abdomen. This is actually where our intestines and uterus (for ladies) are located. My pain was where my stomach and liver are located. Because of my frequent clubbing and drinking session, I suspect I may have intoxicated my unfortunate liver. And because I could not finish my dinner yesterday and lunch today (which is quite rare), I suspect I may have contracted some stomach disease.

I refused to see the doctor as I was unable to face up to reality if I should be diagnosed with some terrible disease. So I had no mood to dance and sat alone at the bar at Chinablack last night like some heartbroken idiot, inviting sympathetic but lewd people to buy me drinks. Now, that would be a great time to be a freeloader! While coolly rejecting the drinks offer publicly, I was cursing at my stupid pain privately. All drinks that night was free, as my happening friends knew some happening members there. But all I could do was to sit down like a loser while everyone else was grooving away.

Gmail Account Holders Are Cool

I’ve got an invitation to create a gmail account! Now gmail accounts are really cool because they are only offered to the coolest denizens on this planet. And the coolest denizens on this planet are none other than us bloggers.

Gmail accounts are cool because when you possess one, your social status automatically soars and you will then be able to tower over and sneer at your pathetic friends who don’t have any.

Gmail accounts are cool because with 1GB of storage, I will never need to save my sentimental mails in Microsoft Word before deleting them in my exploding hotmail account. I will never need to re-create another online photo album when Snapfish unjustly removed all my albums. I will never need to check my email every single day just to clear some space for incoming mails. And I will never need to hide my porn in some obscure folders with some cryptic titles. You didn’t believe the last one, did you?

Gmail Accounts are cool because it is still in an early stage of development, we are the pioneer holders and we get to choose all the best names like jothegreat@gmail.com, jothegreatest@gmail.com, jolenethegreat@gmail.com and jolenethegreatest@gmail.com. Unfortunately, gmail account holders are all snooty and egoistical and I've known of people who has already used "thegreat" and "thegreatest". Hence i was forced to use a less superior name like "iamjolene".

So how did I get my gmail account? Coz I’m cool, they spotted me and they handed me the invite. Ok I’m lying. I got it from my equally cool friend, Joel. (Notice how I used “equally” now that we are of the same social standing?)Anyway Joel is a damn cool copywriter, you just gotta read his blog! Initially when he got his gmail invite, he snubbed me. And then his conscience got the better of him and he decided to present me with 1 when he got 6 more invites. I was glad he brought me into the cool circle so now we can all look down on our un-cool gmailess friends.

Anyway, I could only brag so much about having an account now before it is opened to everybody. By then, everyone will be looking at this blog and snubbing me for my snobbishness.

Happy Boys and Girls

Yesterday, when I was going to blog on the day’s happening on the 23rd June, my mind was full of wondrous memories and reminiscences of past gaiety. Unfortunately, I woke up with a splitting headache and had a partial-memory-erase.

Two days has since passed but I just have to devote some space to record the day’s happening.


We all love shooting people! 

What emanated from an impromptu little gathering, materialized into a fun and laughter-filled evening, a gathering of some of AO3D-ians who still keep in touch every now and then and who were all surprisingly unhampered to make their way down to Plaza Singapura on an ordinary day, 23rd of June. They were (not in order of preference), Caleb, Julie, Kim Sheng (better known as teoks), Tammy and Weiquan. Oh look at all of us there fiddling with cameras!! I ripped this black and white version off Tammy’s blog without requesting her permission. Tammy, if you are not fine with this, please do not hesitate to tell me off. But since I’m such a bitch, even if you do so, I’ll still leave the picture there. A picture paints a thousand words. Since there are 6 up there, it certainly paints 6000, equivalent to 2 Arts essays and sufficient to convey what I want to type.

As much as I enjoyed being in the company of the above 5 people, I had to leave earlier as I was to meet Zann (She’s actually my good friend Caizhu, who insists I use her sophisticated English name on my blog!) and Geraldine, both of whom were my primary school classmates, to “cheong”. Everything that night was free. The transport there, the drinks, the transport home. I’ve never felt so much like a freeloader in my life. But freeloaders are the ones who benefit most from society and have the most fun. I met up with many of my old St Nicks school mates there and we all had a great time drinking ourselves silly. I slept from like 6am till 8am and headed for tuition the next day (24th June). Now it all falls into place, how my splitting headache throughout the whole of yesterday transpired. I really should quit this unhealthy lifestyle.

Heart of Crystal and Crystallized Friendships

I just took an inanely mindless (notice the extent of senselessness?) quiz to find out what my heart is made of. Of course, a cardiologist or a Primary 4 Singaporean Science student would assert that our hearts are made of muscles filled with blood. Atria, aorta and pulmonary artery aside, I was genuinely dying for the unthinkable results to unveil. This was what they revealed:

You have a heart of crystal!!

Heart of Crystal


What is Your Heart REALLY Made of?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ok jus in case the image doesn’t appear, I’ll let you know that it’s supposed to say “Image Not Available. (boy that sucks)"

Darn! And it takes immense effort and loads of research to ferret out a beautiful image of a crystal. Just go to GOOGLE images and type “crystal”!

I wasn’t offered any description of characteristics of people with such hearts. Hence, I drew out my own list of characteristics extracted from my answers. Basically, I am someone who:

* Offers suicidal friends a big hug, and an open ear so they can talk about it all, and feel better.

* Sees a crying stranger, figure they'll be fine on their own, and go about my own way.

* When suffering from break-ups, cry a lot, question a lot, lose sleep and feel crappy. (I’ve not experienced that before actually.)

* Feel that love songs are written for good reasons, and worth listening to at the right time.

* When depressed, lock myself up in my house. Ignore the phone. Drink.

* Upon being insulted by someone, insult him or her right back! Who are they to talk?

* Feels that a marriage is an institution and sacred devotion that should be respected and nurtured.

After learning my results, I tried changing an answer each time I retook, transforming my heart from crystal to stone to gold.

The topic of crystal spurred me to write about this crystallized friendship of 9-10 years. I’ve got a few other crystallized and strong friendships going on but I’ll write about this one as we met up for dinner yesterday.

Beili Christina and ME! The Terrific Three! Sorry, I can’t think of any other alliteration at this very moment.

Beili has been back in Singapore for almost a month and we have yet to meet up as that busy gal has gotten an internship with this PR company. Christina has been carousing around Australia with all her [un]cute ang mo tour mates and frolicking about the greener pasture there. She returned a week ago only to have viruses waging a war in her internals.

So finally yesterday arrived. Beili arranged to gorge ourselves at Seoul Garden, her treat! A treat to celebrate all our belated birthdays for like 3 years, a treat to celebrate Christina getting a job (and my not getting any) and of course a treat to celebrate this strong friendship. This is the only friendship which has not experienced thunderstorm and sailed in choppy waters since the last one when we were in Secondary 2. Who was the expert who professed that constant conflicts strengthen the bond of any relationship?

I wore my low-waisted, or rather, low-hipped levis-type1-lookalike jeans for the 1st time as I do not need a constraining waistband to keep my over-eating habit in check. (I abhor people who watch their diets when they are already Paris-Hilton-thin!!) And so, we cooked, we gorged, we chat and we cooked and we gorged and we chat. Three hours flew off just like that. To quote Mr Bean, “Time passes very quickly when you are enjoying yourselves.”

We talked a lot about what was happening in our lives and our future. We talked about going into trio-partnerships when we manage to pool enough capital after a few years of work. Right now, all each of us could offer was labour, creativity and ideas. None of us has the financial capability yet. The whole idea sounded like a far-fetched reality. Only time will tell. Oh and our efforts and drive too. Oh and our unchanging mindsets of course. After all, we have a few years more to change our minds and aspirations.

We took some crazy photos too. Although I look like crap yesterday, I promise I’ll put this batch of photos up after Beili sends them to us.

Starting a blog has convinced me to get a digital camera AGAIN! Damn! After successfully curbing for a few moths, the 3-year-urge of wanting a luxury item-to-me, I feel the yearning again.

I’m so excited that a lot of my overseas friends are finally getting their American, Australian and English asses back on this sunny island!! I’ll be doing a lot of meet ups and get-togethers these few days. Will probably talk about all of you in my blog in future if I manage to squeeze some time to write.

And of course, I’ll finally be meeting my another neglected good friend of mine, who has always has her ass stuck in Singapore, for clubbing session later. Caizhu, my dear friend, if you are reading this (you can’t possibly be as I’ve not given you my url), I have to let you know that I’m really apologetic for my countless rejections to all your clubbing invites during my NUS days and the recent roller-blading invites. I hope you understand, that I had been very busy in the past and although I’ve not gotten a job now, I’m still busy with my giving tuition and weekend job. I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart that I’m truly sorry if I ever made you feel lousy in any way. But hey, stop bitching to your other friends about how I neglected you ok! *HUGZ*

I’m having a headache and I hope I can last through the night later. I’ve got tuition early in the morning tomorrow. Please pray that I’ll not down too much alcohol later. [P/S: Caizhu, ignore this. I don’t want you to restrain me later! If you do, I’ll call you a bitch!]

A Word from the Author (Many words, in fact)

After being freed from the reins of NUS slavery and after much procrastination, my blog is finally up and running. To all of my friends out there who have been urging me unceasingly to blog since day one, be sorry, for you people have to endure the torture of perusing my crappy claptrap.

I do not how I should write and style this blog. I do not want it to be a live journal, where the whole world would unravel my yawningly boring life. It will definitely not be a bildungsroman about Jolene who spent her most impressionable years in Chongfu Primary, her most malleable years in St Nicholas, her most “artistic” years in Raffles JC, her most formative years in NUS after which it will monotonously detail day by day, the psychological development of the said currently-jobless but busy-with-goodness-knows-what character.

My blog would most probably be filled with thoughts racing through my jumbled mind and I’m sure in time to come, there will be something in it that will offend people one by one. If you are a stranger, I don’t care what YOU THINK coz this is what I THINK. If you are my friend, I’ll accept any strike backs and clarification but I’ll still prefer to stick to what I think. I’ve always been obliging and polite to people in the real world and sometimes I get sick of it. Allow my alter ego – the mean bitch – to emerge centre stage at times in my blog.