For the past few days, I’ve been wondering what to get for Mother’s day.
People who have been talking to me these past few day would have known that Mum has been really very annoying lately. Even if you haven’t been talking to me these few days, you would know that Mum is always very annoying in my eyes most of the time.
Recently, she keeps on singing praises of one of my friends who bought her mum jewelry for Mother’s day. Heck, our parents should never have made friends with each other! (Friend, I know you read my blog and please don’t be mistaken, I’m not mad at you or anything.) She kept on saying my friend is going into MOE teaching and her pay is almost $1k higher than mine. Afterwhich, she goes on to tell me that friend A’s daughter bought what what what for her mother la, and friend B’s daughter’s boyfriend brought her out to eat at where where where la. And she goes on telling me stories EVERYDAY, after coming home from work and tuition feeling exhausted, fuelling more angst from me against her.
I find her really very irritating and I’m always very rude to her and curt in my replies whenever she tries to make small talk and peep at my computer screen just to find out what’s wrong with me for the past week. She even gesticulate with exaggerating actions to my sisters to “tell” them that there is something wrong with me and to find out what’s wrong, thinking I can’t see her stupid actions from the side of my eyes.
Despite feeling very irritated by her, I know that deep down she actually cares a lot. But I just can’t help feeling very irritated with her with all her expectations and what nots and when she does all the comparisons.
I really didn’t know what to buy. Money seems to be the best gift. Every mother’s day and birthday, I would give her money as that was the most practical, only to have her complain that we never give her anything. Sometimes I feel so wronged.
This year would be something different. I thought of getting her SK11 so that her skin can go “doink doink” like Sandy Lam’s. Her answering machine can also go “I’m doing facial so I can’t come to the phone right now.” Exactly like how Simon Yam’s wife Qi Qi’s answering machine would go. Then all her friends can gush about her fair and radiant and wrinkle-free skin and enquired if she has undergone laser treatment just like how Sammi Cheng’s friends would gush about.
And when I’ve finally made up my mind, she demanded $500 from me as monthly jia1 yong4. I was mad!! I was really very mad. Since when have my contribution increased to $500? I’m paid peanuts and I contributed more than $1k last month and the other month and all the other months coz you were really in need of money!! And all of a sudden my monthly contribution became $500, not even counting those I gave you each time I get my tuition pay? You compare us with your friends' children who are earning loads more than us. Have you even stopped and think how we have stopped taking pocket money from you since school days and how we worked or give tuition to earn our pocket money at the expense of our studies?
I would be glad to contribute more, but please understand that I don’t earn that much. Moreover, I’m already an adult who needs my own savings too. I don’t want to end up like you all.
I was so mad that I parted with the wad of cash very unwillingly and told her “I’ve got no more money to buy you anything for Mother’s Day.”
She went into her room and cry silently… Something which is out of the ordinary because usually she would cry openly and wallow herself in self-pity and start lamenting on her fate and how heartless we are.
Although I’m still mad at her, I felt bad yesterday and decided to buy her a cake and throw in some cash in the voucher envelope that came free with the cake. I got my sis to throw in some cash too. The actions were subtle but she was really very happy and I felt happy too… For making someone’s day.
Mum, I know I was rude to you again just now. I know you love all of us a lot and we love you too. Just that our actions and speech don’t really indicate this. We all have different ways of showing our love. You happen to show your love and concern in ways which irritates us. We show ours in ways which upsets you unwittingly. But ultimately, we all love you.