Saturday, December 25, 2010

What if Santa were Satan

1. He'll fill your stocking with actual feet

2. When you write to him asking for presents, you must now sign your name in blood and pledge your mortal soul.

3. He's fired all the elves and replaced them with child labour fom Africa.

4. He's given you somebody else's two front teeth instead.

5. "Ho ho ho" is replaced by "Bwah ha ha".

6. Its better to be in his 'naughty' list than his 'nice' list.

7. You asked him for Wii, and what you got was some urine in the box.

8. All those kids who sat on his lap have now kena piles. [In local speak, 'kena' means 'gotten'.]

9. Rudolph has been renamed Adolph.

10. And those hoof prints on your roof actually belong to him.

Taken from: The Last Page 8 Days #1052


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Hope you enjoyed that sick little list up there. I'm a fan of such.

Merry Christmas everyone!

May the many blessings of love, peace and joy be with you always.

xoxo
Jolene

11 comments:

  1. Haha, funny girl! #6 reminds me of something I always say--that there are some people who I don't want to like me. =)

    There's a terrible Xmas/horror movie called "Santa's Slay" in which Santa is actually Satan's son. He lost a bet with an angel and had to be good for 1,000 years--giving kids presents every Xmas. In the movie the 1,000 is up and Santa is back to being evil. The angel and his son try to stop Santa. I've only seen 15 minutes of the movie, but I read about it.

    Merry Christmas--I hope your Santa is good and fills your stocking with goodies. =)

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  2. HAHAHAHAHA this totally cracked me up XD I especially love #5... XD and tks so much for taking the time and leaving me a wish msg ='D thank you! And a very Merry Christmas to you too Jo ^__^

    PS: AHHHHHHHHHHH you updated so much!!!!! (I think I said this last time too?? lol) *screams at myself in frustration* it's okay no work tomo hopefully I will catch up =DD

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  3. Rick,

    I was so interested in Santa's Slay after reading what you said that I went to read the plot on Wiki. I love spoilers! Eew... The way each victim died was described quite vividly.

    Hope you had a great xmas!

    PS: Both jo and santa had been good. How about you?

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    Frances,

    Nice to hear from you! I can see that you're really really bz! Hope Santa fills you stockings with time and relaxation. =)

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    Dina,

    =)

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  4. haha YES I'm BACK!!! And I had so much fun reading and spamming your blog just now XD lolol!

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  5. Santa and I had an bad year. Most of what I received was the wrong size and needs to be returned. I screwed up the Christmas stockings by forgetting to get some of the traditional items--oranges and walnuts, for example. But overall it was a nice Christmas. The kids are happy.

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  6. Merry and blessed Christmas to you and your family. Hope that love, peace and joy will surround you wherever you go. Hugs.

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  7. Good thing there's no chimneys in our HDB flats, don't want any Santas delivering evil stuffs. =p

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  8. Frances,

    I love spam in the form of comments and I shall slowly read and reply to your spam soon! =D

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    Rick,

    Notti notti santa! Maybe he secretly wants you to return so he could give these wrong sizes to the elves he fired.

    Glad that all ended well eventually!

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    citrella,

    Hugz babe!

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    Shingo T,

    Santa will burst through your door with a chain saw and a manacing look like Chucky from Child's play when he turn from doll-like to devil-like. Bwahaha

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  9. Georgeliux,

    Happy 2011 to you! New reader? Welcome aboard! =D

    ReplyDelete

I love reading sincere comments and hearing your voice. While blatant self promotion of blogs and follow for follow requests are not advisable, I would love if you leave a mark here with a trackback link so that I could connect with you. I reply to comments here or on your blog so don't forget to check back on replies! =)

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