1. He'll fill your stocking with actual feet
2. When you write to him asking for presents, you must now sign your name in blood and pledge your mortal soul.
3. He's fired all the elves and replaced them with child labour fom Africa.
4. He's given you somebody else's two front teeth instead.
5. "Ho ho ho" is replaced by "Bwah ha ha".
6. Its better to be in his 'naughty' list than his 'nice' list.
7. You asked him for Wii, and what you got was some urine in the box.
8. All those kids who sat on his lap have now kena piles. [In local speak, 'kena' means 'gotten'.]
9. Rudolph has been renamed Adolph.
10. And those hoof prints on your roof actually belong to him.
Taken from: The Last Page 8 Days #1052
Hope you enjoyed that sick little list up there. I'm a fan of such.
Merry Christmas everyone!
May the many blessings of love, peace and joy be with you always.