The day before visiting cyn and the kids, I dropped by a fellow dame’s house to collect a Nickelodeon Dora fun pack.
My family members were greatly attracted to the gifts even though we have a combined age of more than 200 years. Haha… My er jie immediately took the liberty to lay the items out and snap a pic of them.
Thank you sweetp aka Pearlyn for your generous gift. Even though we do not have many/ any exchanges on the forum, you have been so kind in offering to meet up with me to pass the gifts. They have certainly put a smile on little Charmaine’s face and Jase’s too. =)
Over at cyn’s place on Wednesday, 4th March.
We shall do a little switch in sequence for this entry.
Pictures first, words later!
Lil Char and godma Jolene posing with the Dora stuff
Jase and his lion dance “costume”
Jase wanna take with Godma Jolene too!
All these shots were taken by Jase… Such a little photographer he is.
Lil char came to find me finally and showed me what she had done to the book.
There were quite a number of people at cyn’s house. Seated in the living room were cyn’s friends who were discussing serious issues with cyn. In the bedroom were the kids, Sonia (cyn’s maid) and cyn’s bro’s friends.
As much as I wanted to play with char, I had to make sure Jase didn’t feel left out.
On Jase’s psychological health…
Just 1 week of not seeing him, Jase has certainly changed. He is no longer the sweet little darling boy I’ve always known. He craved for mummy’s attention. He craved for my attention. He craved for everyone to focus just once on him, and not on Charmaine.
He craved for attention so much that he has become a changed boy.
He talked rudely to people. He got offended easily. He ordered people around. He got put off when Charmaine got a lion’s share of the attention. He is always shouting for all to look at his toys, to look at what he had done, to look at him and not at Charmaine. Jase did not want to take photos with Charmaine but wants us to take photos of him only. He used to like taking photos with Charmaine.
When we finished fixing a jigsaw puzzle which was done by mei mei before that. Sonia and I praised Jase for being so clever and so thoughtful that he has helped mei mei to complete the puzzle. My intention was actually to make him feel that his efforts were recognized and also to make him feel helpful and kind. When I told him to show mei mei the completed puzzle, he ran out to show Cynthia instead. It’s so evident that he wants mummy to recognise his efforts.
His tone and behaviour were exactly similar to those naughty brats I always abhor and yet, I don’t blame him a single bit. I feel very upset and I am really afraid that jealousy might get the better of him and that’s no good for Charmaine at all.
Children at this age is egocentric. The whole world revolves around them. When it’s no longer a me world, they get upset and they may hold a grudge against the person who caused the change in status quo.
Cyn is well aware of this and she really does try to spend some time with Jase doing little things to make him feel that he is still special in mummy’s heart and reassuring her love for him. However, sometimes it’s really very difficult to share her attention between both kids.
The surrounding matters a great deal too. As highlighted in this article .
Jase may have been a good kor kor but despite feeling concern for his sickly mei mei, he would feel jealous too. Presents and toys flood in for the mei mei. Mummy stay at the hospital with mei mei. Everybody focus on mei mei. Everybody’s conversations revolve around mei mei.
Is it any wonder that Jase would feel jealous of mei mei?
I remember the story which the social worker at KK told us about sibling jealousy. There was a 2-year-old child fighting for his life while undergoing chemo. Finally, he passed away. Do you know what his 5-year-old brother told his mummy?
“I’m very happy di di die. Then you don’t have to go to the hospital anymore.”
We really felt very angry at the boy’s words. Then the social worker continued saying that this was coming from a 5-year-old child who isn’t mature enough to understand the severity of his words. He isn’t mature enough to control his egocentric thoughts. We should not even blame him for feeling this way.
We’ve got to do more reading up on dealing with siblings of cancer patients. I’ve already printed out some information from the internet.
On Charmaine being such a little darling…
Charmaine really loves kor kor a lot. When Cynthia asked her to share her gifts with kor kor since she had so many, she said with a smile, “Ok….”
Then she went through all the Dora items to pick a gift for Jase. She picked a knitted beanie hat—the exact same one Jase was marveling about when we first opened the pack, only to put it down when he realised it’s not for him.
I was truly truly impressed with Charmaine’s kindness!
Then Aunty Sonia tried to pick more stuff for Jase.There were 2 scarfs in the bag. One pink and the other blue. Sonia told Charmaine to give kor kor the blue one since she had 2. The little darling went, “Ok” and with slow motion as she was obviously in pain, she handed Jase the scarf.
She is sooooooo sweet and I’m really glad that Charmaine is so kind and forgiving. She really loves Jase a lot.
Have you felt so unwanted before?
Cynthia asked me the above question when I plonked down on the sofa next to her.
There were certainly more than enough people entertaining the kids and yes I felt a tad unwanted but my main motive was to catch up with Cynthia for both sides of updates so it was good that the kids were preoccupied.
We were both such scatter brain that day, trying to remember which information and messages have already been conveyed.
Just when I thought little Charmaine had forgotten all about me, she came walking slowly towards me and sat next to me, flipping her Dora book and asking me to take a look. I spent some quality time with her then.
There was once she put her lanyard over my head and with help, hooked both our lanyards together. Then she said, “We all married.”
As I’m typing this, Little Charmaine is warded in KK due to her persistent fever. Read more here.
I won’t be able to visit Charmaine for quite some time coz I’m sick. It started from the bad throat on Thursday, then the cough and now the cold. Feling feverish too so it was fortunate that my tutee’s mum cancelled the tuition session today. I managed to catch up on some sleep.
Cyn always tells me to not let her issues affect my life so much and I had to continue living my life as per normal, do my stuff as per normal, plan my wedding as per normal. To which I always laugh and tell her,
“Ya la ya la… I got 分寸 wan. You think I wanna help you forever meh?”