Sunday, March 08, 2009

Little Charmaine after her 1st chemotherapy treatment

The day before visiting cyn and the kids, I dropped by a fellow dame’s house to collect a Nickelodeon Dora fun pack.

My family members were greatly attracted to the gifts even though we have a combined age of more than 200 years. Haha… My er jie immediately took the liberty to lay the items out and snap a pic of them.





Thank you sweetp aka Pearlyn for your generous gift. Even though we do not have many/ any exchanges on the forum, you have been so kind in offering to meet up with me to pass the gifts. They have certainly put a smile on little Charmaine’s face and Jase’s too. =)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Over at cyn’s place on Wednesday, 4th March.

We shall do a little switch in sequence for this entry.

Pictures first, words later!

Lil Char and godma Jolene posing with the Dora stuff


Jase and his lion dance “costume”


Jase wanna take with Godma Jolene too!






All these shots were taken by Jase… Such a little photographer he is.


Lil char came to find me finally and showed me what she had done to the book.


There were quite a number of people at cyn’s house. Seated in the living room were cyn’s friends who were discussing serious issues with cyn. In the bedroom were the kids, Sonia (cyn’s maid) and cyn’s bro’s friends.

As much as I wanted to play with char, I had to make sure Jase didn’t feel left out.


On Jase’s psychological health…

Just 1 week of not seeing him, Jase has certainly changed. He is no longer the sweet little darling boy I’ve always known. He craved for mummy’s attention. He craved for my attention. He craved for everyone to focus just once on him, and not on Charmaine.

He craved for attention so much that he has become a changed boy.

He talked rudely to people. He got offended easily. He ordered people around. He got put off when Charmaine got a lion’s share of the attention. He is always shouting for all to look at his toys, to look at what he had done, to look at him and not at Charmaine. Jase did not want to take photos with Charmaine but wants us to take photos of him only. He used to like taking photos with Charmaine.

When we finished fixing a jigsaw puzzle which was done by mei mei before that. Sonia and I praised Jase for being so clever and so thoughtful that he has helped mei mei to complete the puzzle. My intention was actually to make him feel that his efforts were recognized and also to make him feel helpful and kind. When I told him to show mei mei the completed puzzle, he ran out to show Cynthia instead. It’s so evident that he wants mummy to recognise his efforts.

His tone and behaviour were exactly similar to those naughty brats I always abhor and yet, I don’t blame him a single bit. I feel very upset and I am really afraid that jealousy might get the better of him and that’s no good for Charmaine at all.

Children at this age is egocentric. The whole world revolves around them. When it’s no longer a me world, they get upset and they may hold a grudge against the person who caused the change in status quo.

Cyn is well aware of this and she really does try to spend some time with Jase doing little things to make him feel that he is still special in mummy’s heart and reassuring her love for him. However, sometimes it’s really very difficult to share her attention between both kids.

The surrounding matters a great deal too. As highlighted in this article .

Jase may have been a good kor kor but despite feeling concern for his sickly mei mei, he would feel jealous too. Presents and toys flood in for the mei mei. Mummy stay at the hospital with mei mei. Everybody focus on mei mei. Everybody’s conversations revolve around mei mei.

Is it any wonder that Jase would feel jealous of mei mei?

I remember the story which the social worker at KK told us about sibling jealousy. There was a 2-year-old child fighting for his life while undergoing chemo. Finally, he passed away. Do you know what his 5-year-old brother told his mummy?

“I’m very happy di di die. Then you don’t have to go to the hospital anymore.”

We really felt very angry at the boy’s words. Then the social worker continued saying that this was coming from a 5-year-old child who isn’t mature enough to understand the severity of his words. He isn’t mature enough to control his egocentric thoughts. We should not even blame him for feeling this way.

We’ve got to do more reading up on dealing with siblings of cancer patients. I’ve already printed out some information from the internet.


On Charmaine being such a little darling…

Charmaine really loves kor kor a lot. When Cynthia asked her to share her gifts with kor kor since she had so many, she said with a smile, “Ok….”

Then she went through all the Dora items to pick a gift for Jase. She picked a knitted beanie hat—the exact same one Jase was marveling about when we first opened the pack, only to put it down when he realised it’s not for him.

I was truly truly impressed with Charmaine’s kindness!

Then Aunty Sonia tried to pick more stuff for Jase.There were 2 scarfs in the bag. One pink and the other blue. Sonia told Charmaine to give kor kor the blue one since she had 2. The little darling went, “Ok” and with slow motion as she was obviously in pain, she handed Jase the scarf.

She is sooooooo sweet and I’m really glad that Charmaine is so kind and forgiving. She really loves Jase a lot.


Have you felt so unwanted before?

Cynthia asked me the above question when I plonked down on the sofa next to her.

Hahaha…

There were certainly more than enough people entertaining the kids and yes I felt a tad unwanted but my main motive was to catch up with Cynthia for both sides of updates so it was good that the kids were preoccupied.

We were both such scatter brain that day, trying to remember which information and messages have already been conveyed.

Just when I thought little Charmaine had forgotten all about me, she came walking slowly towards me and sat next to me, flipping her Dora book and asking me to take a look. I spent some quality time with her then.

There was once she put her lanyard over my head and with help, hooked both our lanyards together. Then she said, “We all married.”

So CUTE!!!!!!


As I’m typing this, Little Charmaine is warded in KK due to her persistent fever. Read more here.

I won’t be able to visit Charmaine for quite some time coz I’m sick. It started from the bad throat on Thursday, then the cough and now the cold. Feling feverish too so it was fortunate that my tutee’s mum cancelled the tuition session today. I managed to catch up on some sleep.

Cyn always tells me to not let her issues affect my life so much and I had to continue living my life as per normal, do my stuff as per normal, plan my wedding as per normal. To which I always laugh and tell her,

“Ya la ya la… I got 分寸 wan. You think I wanna help you forever meh?”

=)

Feisty Char needs bullets to fight!

10 comments:

  1. Hey, Char doesn't look like she has gone chemo. Why aren't u posting these pics on char's blog? Wat r u trying to cover up?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I like little Charmaine in her new short hair & she looks so cute lah with her smile! Till now, i really can't believe she got cancer ={

    Anyway regarding the jealousy part from Jase, guess can't really balme him lah. It happened to most kids as i've either heard or witness it myself.

    I pity Cyn as she got so much to cope & handle now. God help her lah!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Charmaine is going to fight the cancer well. She still looks so cute after her first chemotheraphy. I believe she is a fighter. Charmaine sounds like a darling and really sad to hear about Jase's change. I think its normal for cancer children siblings to behave like this but just wonder how to help him.

    - WL

    ReplyDelete
  4. hey~ i finally get to see charmaine yesterday... although not up close, but she's real sweet!! kpo me even wrote an entry on my visit yesterday! :D

    http://sweetheavens.blogspot.com/2009/03/visiting-little-charmaine.html :P

    oops, is this advertising?! LOL~

    Charmaine looks so sweet and adorable, i believe she's a great fighter! Charmaine jiayou!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. kpo deedee is back...

    eh if got chance help me take pics of the presents i gave... please~? cos i miss them already. =x

    kekeke ok i'm back to work. Charmaine will fight! and u also hv to take good care ok? =)

    ReplyDelete
  6. omg i'm back again (>.<) i'm spamming your blog... ermmm...

    oh yea hope i can visit Cyn's someday... the multicolour pencil in pink that i bought for Char, i had 2 more in blue... wanted to give my hubby's nephews but their parents can already afford to get them all the things they want so little things like that give them or not also won't affect them much... keke~

    thinking to give one to Jase if got chance to visit Cyn. =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous,

    Cynthia’s friends, my friends and all the people who know us and have visited Charmaine know the truth. We don’t need to convince strangers about this truth. However, if you really deem it necessary, you may want to clarify your doubts by calling KK Children’s Tower at 6294 4050. Hope this helps.

    BTW, all of us are really very glad that Charmaine still looks so feisty despite having undergone 1 round of chemotherapy. I would rather she look cheerful and healthy than to look sickly just to prove that she is indeed sick.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

    June,

    Yup tell me about it. All who visited her cannot help but marvel at how positive she is with her cute little smile and cheerful disposition. However, when you see her moving so slowly due to all the wounds and pain, your heart would really ache. I can’t even hug her properly coz she would go “Ow… My tummy…”

    I read up online that it’s very normal for siblings of cancer patients to behave like this, even for children as old as 10 years old. Hence, I’m very worried for Jase who is only 5 this year.

    Cynthia really has a lot on her plate. Mummies at the cancer ward all have the “luxury” of quitting their jobs to be there 24/7 for their children while the dad brings home the bacon but poor cyn doesn’t. =(

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Anonymous/ WL,

    I agree that little Charmaine is a fighter. She has always been a strong-willed girl. About cancer patients’ siblings, read what I say to June.

    Oh yes, I hope my reply to June sorta give you some hint on the question you asked in another post. ;)

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~

    deedee,

    I read your entry! Hahaha… what advertising? Also no “product” to advertise. I like what you have written. Nice description of our little princess. Thanx for the support and hugz too. =)

    I dunno if I would have the chance to snap a pic of your presents coz I’m having a cold and won’t be visiting cyn and char anytime this week. I cannot spread any germs to them! However, I’ll try my best to take a pic if I visit them the next time ok?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Jolene,
    Charmaine really sounds very sweet and adorable. I like her even more now. Oh yes I saw many flamings on ourfeistyprincess long time ago but I never say anything cause I cannot speak well. These people are heartless and insensative. Dont be upset ok? As long as you know all the people who know you and Cynthia cares for Charmaine and know the truth that is good.

    ~Yen

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh I forgot if I got say who I am just now. I cant see my comments now.

    ~Yen

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Yen,

    Oh no worries. You did leave your name down. The flamings have since become non-existent. I guess those flamers finally realised the truth of this whole matter and decided it would be wiser to keep quiet after all the hurling of abuses and wrong accusations. Yup and as long as people who know us know the truth, it's good. We need not waste our time and effort to convince the skeptics for we have more important tasks on hand.

    ReplyDelete

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