Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Sick and Disgruntled

Saturday: husky voice
Sunday: no voice
Monday: no voice
Tuesday: no voice
Wednesday: record-gone-wrong voice

Throat infection I was told.

How come I whole life plague with throat infection wan?

Wait a minute… it’s August right?

I remember that the same month last year was my most sickly phase ever.

What with all the URI (Upper Respiratory Tract Infection) and having to feel so lifeless during D&D last year. This year’s D&D is next week and I wanna eat sooooooooooo much stuff lor. Hmmph! Stupid virus!

The good thing was I was given 3 days MC straight. YAYNESS!

Now for the BOO… I don’t care the f*** for MC cos I still go back to work for a few hours every day despite coughing my lungs out. I feel pretty stressed up when I think of all the pile of work waiting for me to clear.

What was most infuriating was that big boss had to piss me off by telling me that he’s gonna take my pri el staff off to another department. He even assured me that my workload wouldn’t increase as it’ll only take up 20% of her time.

I say “BULLSHIT!”

Taking up 20% of her time means my workload increase by 20% what! Who’s kidding who?

Yeah and coz I lost my voice, I was whispering to him in agitation. Even though I was pissed, I didn’t show it too openly. However from my raised tone of whispering, he knew that I meant business. The whole arguing scene appeared comical to the rest of my colleagues in the room. They were laughing whilst we were arguing but even my “quarrelsome buddy” knew that I've been overloaded for too long and had to tell big boss not to bully me when I’ve got no voice. I was quite thankful for that.

What saddens me is that the said staff actually shows an interest in going to the other department. Well, I can’t blame her. Curriculum department is really quite siong and I know from the very start that she doesn’t have strong interest for pri el. I kinda feel bad that she was transferred to my pri el department of shit work last year but what to do? She was the best candidate and a really sweet girl. She was such a great help.

I replied that if I had known he would drop me this bomb, I wouldn’t had come to work on my MC day only to feel more miserable. And guess what his reaction was? He looked stunned and said that he always knew I’m very “guai1” and that’s why this kind of staff cannot leave.

WTF?!

The directors all along knew that I have the intention to leave if I should find another job. I’ve made it very clear to them that I’ve missed 2 interviews just coz I’ve got so much work to do here and taking leave was simply out of the question.

So is this their way of making me stay? By giving me more work to do so that the responsible me would stay to finish up what is required of me?

I told him about the idealistic plan of revamping the curriculum, reiterating that it is idealistic and could only happen if I have more staff helping out. (I secretly know they wouldn’t hire more staff for me.)

Well, he said if it is beneficial for the company and for the students, he would do it. He also added when that time comes, I’ll have 2 to 3 staff under me and I’ve to be a good supervisor and ensure that nobody leaves. With that, he gave me a knowing look.

I was screaming in my heart.

I could not fight back on this point as all the other colleagues in the room don’t know of my intention to leave. He had cleverly chosen to tell me this in the room and not in private when I wouldn’t have the chance to voice out certain issues openly.

I could only retaliate by telling him that he whole life say wanna employ people but they’re all words, no action.

All along the directors and my superior have always been telling me that they recognize my efforts and all that I’ve done for my department. They have also noted the number of hours I put in every week and such an employee is hard to come by… bla bla bla…

HOWEVER, I don’t like the fact that big boss wonders how my then superior could handle the dept all by herself while I need another staff to help out.

HELLO? I was alone in pri el dept for 1 whole year before permanent help arrived. I added more sections and modified parts of the curriculum out of goodwill and for the benefit of my students. I spent time changing certain layouts coz they were simply an eyesore. When I could not finish my work, I came back on my Wednesday off days to complete them.

That was how I handled the department all alone.

With the sudden departure of a colleague in charge of the kindergarten curriculum close to 2 years ago, I was naturally appointed to assume the role since I had experience with kids of that level. I made substantial modification to the kindergarten curriculum as well. This time when I could not finish my work, I came back on my Sunday off days to complete them.

ME, ONE PERSON, handling 2 departments. Coming back on 2 off days to complete my work. That does not even include marking till the wee hours of the morning.

Don’t I deserve more help?

I held back my agitation. I held back my hot tears of anger. I made a mental note to have a major “showdown” with boss when I get my voice back.

In the meantime, I put on my happy mask and tried to let my mind wander off to other frivolous stuff, like letting all my colleagues tease me for having no voice to suan them back.

kh fetched me home that night. The first thing he asked when I opened the door was, “Why you sick still come back to work?”

It wasn’t his usual disgruntled voice whenever he told me not to work so hard. He asked in such a concerned tone that I started to tear. I was simply overwhelmed with emotions.

He thought I was crying as I felt very sick. Then, as I related whatever had happened and how disgruntled I felt, the floodgates flew open.

He chided me for coming back to work. He said I should just rest at home and show them how my absence would affect the curriculum. However, I can’t do that. I simply wasn’t able to rest at home in peace. I can’t be nonchalant coz nobody could see how my absence would affect the curriculum and I would only be giving more shitwork for myself at the end of the day.

Some of you would ask me:
“Why bother to do so much?”
“Why can’t you be less responsible?”
“Why don’t you just quit?”

Why? I dunno, it’s just me.

Other than the workload, I’m quite fine with this job.

The colleagues are generally nice. The directors could switch from clown mode to serious mode when the occasion calls for it. We have lotsa fun company activities. Welfare for staff is fine. We have World Café meetings to voice out our views. The pay isn’t too bad. (However, I can’t say the same if I were to divide my salary with the number of hours I work.)

So really, it isn’t all too bad.

I’m holding on till after my wedding. I really dunno if I would be able to hold on that long but the thought of having a steady income and sunstantial savings should drive me to hold on.

I‘m a very simple person and the next job I’m looking out for would be more family oriented. I want a normal 9 to 5 (or should I say 9 to 6?) job when I could have my nights off. I guess I should cross out teaching for I always suffer from URI and all other symptoms related to prolong talking and raising of voice.

I’m not a very ambitious person when it comes to career. In fact, I would love to be there for my child during his or her growing up years. I don’t ask for a lot in life. I just hope to have a happy family in future.

Am I asking for too much?


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Replies to tags

8 Aug 08, 10:23
passer by: Hi may i noe what magazine did you take the pictures from? I see chinese words but the models are definitely japanese. Waiting for your reply.
Hi there, sorry for this slow reply. It’s from a magazine called “Popteen”. It’s the Taiwan version. I like how everything is in Chinese. Good fashion spread, great make up tips, gorgeous models (most of the time). It’s very un-teen to me and definitely one of my favourite fashion magazines. You can google “popteen” for more info.

8 Aug 08, 19:10
reg: hey gal, I've been using curling tongs for a month now cos my perm has died. It only takes 15mins! And the curls look very nice Maybe you wanna buy tongs?
Wow! 15minutes??? What brand did you buy and do you tong your hair everyday? If your perm has died, mine would be dead for eons.

13 Aug 08, 23:11
sherin: hello dearest jolene! been so long since i read ur blog. i adore those curls/ perms too, but my hair never seem to grow. sobs ! and i dun tink i'm tt hardworking to maintain. LOL.
Hey good to see you here! No need to sob. Your hair is already very long and silky. Actually I don’t spend a lot of time on my permed hair. In fact, the almost the same amt when I had straight hair. Btw, your side swept fringe is nice and I can imagine you with those soft curls.

16 Aug 08, 02:29
canny: drop u a msg to say "hi"! back to comment when i get online again! *goin back to continue packing up again -stress!* =p
Welcome back! How was your trip? Waiting to read about it! I dropped a short “hi” to you on your tagboard too. =)


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Replies to comments

“08-08-08”

-- bwilly said...
hi..
:)

And hello, long time no see!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s the return of the hairy issue”

-- lian said...
Yo yo~~~ It doesn't take too long for me to DIY curls using the curling tongs .. about 30 min max? Once you get the hang of it that is ... :P

Me trying to make my hair grow longer too! >< color="#993300">AH LIAN!!!
Yoyoyo… Oopsie! I got the wrong lian. Hehe… Ooh, what curling tongs are you using? Ok 30min really sounds quite reasonable but do you tong your hair every day?
Well, I agree with you on hairdresser snipping inches of hair when you just ask them to trim. Luckily I found a good one in Yishun who could really neaten my hair up w/o compromising much of the length. I like the way she cuts my hair. A pity you don’t stay in the north if not I would recommend you to go there. Hs (as in our ex colleague) also likes the way that hairdresser cuts her hair w/o snipping much length away.


-- Anonymous said...
Hello Jolene,

I got here from one of the chanel perfume links from google. I would like to ask if your friend with the ceramic perm did her hair in Singapore. If in Singapore, can you ask which salon? Thank you.

Hi there,
I’m terribly sorry for this late reply. Well, I remember my friend telling me that it’s a neighbourhood salon somewhere in Hougang area. As for the exact address, I would have to ask her again.



-- Anonymous (Yen) said…
Your friend has really nice curls if you say there is no stlying products at all. Nice hair colour too. I also wanna know where she perm her hair ok?

-Yen

Wooh, you interested as well? I’ll go ask my friend ya?


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“Simba”

-- Anonymous said...
Hugs to Jolene.

-Yen

Hugz back!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Beauty World Cha Cha Cha”

-- Anonymous said...
i watched, i loved.

it's very funny how you try so hard to sound singlish when your review for this musical is packed with a punch. it's so funny seeing you reverting from cheem ang mo to singlish time and again.

are you an acclaimed critic or a singapolian?

in case the above come across negative, i'll add KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

Eh... very funny meh? If you hear me speak in real life, I can be pretty Singlish you know. I'm not like some cheem ang mo pai person trying to sound Singlish.

That's because...

I am a Singapolian!



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5 comments:

  1. babe, just bare with it... a few more months to go to your wedding.

    After that, just ditch them. They are undeserving of your devotion, time, life and tears.

    There are definitely jobs which are 9-6 without much weekends OT required. Else, you can always give tuition :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's not exactly few more months. More than half a year,

    Thanx for being one of my angry-for-me-friends. U pple are the best!

    Your last sentence sounds like what kh always says to me whenever he wants me to quit.

    ReplyDelete
  3. BTW, I LURVE your "Life and How to Survive It" email a lot. This person is good shit manz. HILARIOUS! Have a great urge to post it on my blog.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You can quit and slowly look for job. I'm sure you would be able to find many jobs since you have a degree. As for me, I'm studying part time. It's xin ku but I must improve myself.

    After you quit, you can have more time to think and slowly look for the jobs you like. You would have the time to go for any interview which calls you up. You will feel more refresh. You can also use the time to do things that You've always wanted to do.

    Jia you babe!

    -Yen

    ReplyDelete

I love reading sincere comments and hearing your voice. While blatant self promotion of blogs and follow for follow requests are not advisable, I would love if you leave a mark here with a trackback link so that I could connect with you. I reply to comments here or on your blog so don't forget to check back on replies! =)

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