Sunday, June 08, 2008

Life is indeed transient

Hazel’s demise has left a huge impact on all who knew her. Even though I do not know her personally, I feel upset that she’s no longer with us. It is just too sudden. Why does it have to happen to somebody so young, so sweet and so bubbly… someone so full of enthusiasm for the life ahead of her?

When I received an sms from Vivien on Thurdsday about Hazel’s admission to hospital, going into coma and her critical condition, I was shocked to the expense of disbelief. I kept her in my prayers but I had the misconception that she would get better. After all, most people do recover from high fever right? I guess that was what many of us thought or probably we were just clinging onto that glimmer of hope.

I logged onto LD to follow up on Hazel’s condition. I read about how things really weren’t looking good for her… about her dialysis… about her condition not improving… about how the doctors could not diagnose what was wrong with her except that it was a viral infection… about her immune system being very low… Then the positive news came… the stabilisng of her heartbeat… lesser bleeding from her nose and internal organs… the colour from her face coming back… Despite all these, she was still not out of danger yet, but at least it left us more positive. Many of us were praying hard for her to conquer this battle. We were all hoping to see her soon.

I logged off in the wee hours of Saturday morning, feeling glad that things are looking much better and woke up thereafter thinking Hazel would wake up shortly. However on my way to work later in the morning, Regina sms-ed me that Hazel had left us.

It was all too sudden that I really didn’t know what to say. She was healthy just a week before and now God had called her home. Had God made a mistake? Did St Peter write the wrong name in his big book? There must be some mistake somewhere. Hazel would wake up. She would.

At night, I went back to LD to read whatever I’ve missed, hoping that it was some kinda cruel joke, but no… a cruel fact greeted.

I would never see a post from her again. I would never receive a pm from her again. I would never see her prompt replies whenever I posted something late at night again. All that lingers of her on LD are her past posts and her animated avatar with a girl waving sweetly.

Living life to the fullest!

Leaving this ugly "world"

Could these be signs?

When I read what Silver wrote about Hazel’s physical condition, the bloatedness beyond recognition, the bleeding, the heavy panting, the dependance on the life support machine, my heart ached for poor Hazel. Nobody should be made to go through such suffering.

My heart goes out to her family and friends. I hope they are coping well.


Dear Hazel,

I’m sorry I didn’t pray hard enough. Please rest in peace. I’m very sure you are safe in the garden of God where there is no pain and suffering. You’ll be missed by us all.

Love,
Jolene


~*~

Life is indeed transient. Do cherish the times you are here in this world as well as cherish the people around you. You never know when that joker St Peter would decide to add another resident to his heavenly land or when the devil would invite you over for a round of chivas. I just hope the devil doesn’t come knocking with bottles of fine bubbly champagne.

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