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Tuesday, June 21, 2005

I’m desperately lost now

My TV life revolves around Desperate Housewives and Lost.

My life is busy and boring.

This time I’ve not only got no time to blog, I lacked content as well. On top of it all, realization hit me that I’m such an incompetent writer. I marvel at some people’s flare for writing. I read some of my friends’ blogs and felt terribly ashamed of my own writing.

Incompetent writer aside, I tried very hard to make my life more interesting.

Watched Batman Begins yesterday.

Just a week ago, I visited Madagascar.

And two weeks ago, I had the sizzling hot Mr and Mrs Smith for company.

But at the end of it all, it’s the same old boring life.

I sat at my desk in my room trying to do some paperwork (Yay.. finally not materials!) and I realized I really missed sitting at my desk and studying. I miss the feeling of going back to school. I’m beginning to dread the drudgery of work. I actually envy those ah peks, ah mms and aunties when I see them sitting at the void deck doing nothing and losing themselves in time. I wish so much to be in their shoes. To just not do anything for once. To relish in the mundanity of everyday life. I wish and hope and pray to embrace mediocrity!!!

Recently, I got very tired of my job. I thought very hard about what else I could do with my degree besides being an MOE teacher. I couldn’t be anything!

Maybe my friends would have some suggestions. The replies I got back were 70% MOE teacher and 30% SIA stewardess. That’s it! These are the only things I can become. I may as well just go and eat some worms.

Recently I realized that... ...

Sleep is good.

I should never overestimate myself and bring home work only to bring it back undone or incomplete.

People who read my blog (be it my friends or not) read my friends’ blogs more than I read them. They know about my friends’ lives more than I do!

I’m still a procrastinator. And I hate myself for that.

I’m falling sick too often that I’m better off dead.

People are very unhappy.

I really really really hate it when I introduce myself as “Jolene” and the response I get is “Oh Jolin Cai Yilin.” Even worse when they try to draw out the resemblance.

One more “visually challenged person” commented that I look like Fann Wong. Please puke all you want. I can only wish I looked half as gorgeous as her and wish that the person had said it right in my face so that I can correct her immediately.

I'm very shallow. I can watch a show mindlessly just because someone beautiful is starring in it.

I haven't written to my kawaii Japanese pen pal for more than a year. I don't know whose turn is it to write now.

The last class of the week really makes your day. And I truly felt it the Sunday that just passed. The omnipresent good energy in the class from both children and parents every week was further intensified that day. I get to “keep” this class after all thanks to the parents.

Dreams do feel pretty real.


  1. welcome back.. miss your writings..

  2. Hey me online too... As u can see.. mediocre writing for now. Mediocrity shall be my forte.

  3. MOE's bad :( Don't come :(

    i got posted to somewhere near ur place. -yiz-

  4. I tink u r more pretty than Jolin and Fann... I cant stand the both of them... Irritates me... One so act cute... One so old alreadi still act cute... Sorry... no offence... Juz in case you like them.

    You still write well. Still have to check online dictionary when I read your blog. Or mebbe I'm stupid... ang mo not so powderful.

  5. Hi Jolene,

    Seem like you are quite secretive about your blog. Somebody posted your link up in FP. Heard from other podder who know you that your from FP too. Care to share what is your nick? We exchange la... hee..

  6. yiz,
    Yup.. I don't think I'll ever step into MOE. I THINK. Not my cup of tea. SMS me where you got posted to ya? And i cant read about your life on your blog coz i'm not LJ user and Sam said u filed under the pte or frenz section.

    I dunno which photos of mine made you think I look like Fann in that photo but I'll take that as a compliment coz I think Fann is damn pretty... Ü

    Yeah I can't stand Jolin too. Ü

    from fp,
    Not that I'm secretive about my blog or what but only my friends have the url.

    I don't put my url as a link up on websites like friendster or forums so the rest of the people who read my blog found it by chance. I don't know somebody in fp put my url up till one fellow podder informed me.

    I don't frequent nor post on FP that much. Maybe less than 10 posts since they "revamped" so whatever my nick is is of no significance.

  7. You don't look like Fann Wong but you are quite pretty... and funny too. Pretty and funny gals are rare.


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