12/12/12

11:59pm... a minute more before 12/12/12 -- the last repetitive date we will ever see in our lifetime.

I'm sure many of you reading this belong to the generation who have survived:

01/01/01
02/02/02
03/03/03
04/04/04
05/05/05
06/06/06
07/07/07
08/08/08
09/09/09
10/10/10
11/11/11

And lastly 12/12/12

My 12/12/12 has been pretty nondescript. In fact, my 12:12pm on 12/12/12 was spent in my senior manager's office discussing about work. (I'm not complaining though)

Then just now I decided to do something worth remembering. Through World Vision Singapore, I gifted gifts of:
1) Deworming for 10 children in Vietnam
2) Vaccination and immunization for 10 children in Laos
3) 3 water filters for school children in Myanmar

There were many gifts to choose from and gift of health somehow tugs at my heart string more than other tangible gifts. It isn't a lot but I know it would really help these children.

I'm considering sponsoring a child in one of the Southeast Asian countries. It has been something I contemplated doing 2 years ago and at that time I also envisioned visiting the child and his/her family in their hometown too.

I don't know what is holding me back now. I guess I'm afraid of not being able to follow my plan up till the end. The sponsorship ends when the child and/or the child’s community reach a level of self-sustainability and no longer require further assistance from World Vision. Each child is helped through an Area Development Programme (ADP), which usually spans 10-15 years. That is considered long term for me and I was wondering if other means of helping underprivileged people would actually be more beneficial. More importantly, I would want to be able to visit the child and his/her family and if I don't fulfill this aspect, I would feel that my plan of sponsorship isn't complete.

One thing I'm sure for now is that I would gift life-changing gifts on a regular basis to the underprivileged.

How was your 12/12/12? Have you done anything significant on this date or is it just another date to some of you?

I had a fruitful off day

Yes! I did not do a single piece of work during my off day today.

I went back to ex co to have a good chat with wy as well as to pay a visit to the hh babes. It was term break for them so they were all quite relaxed.

I was really lucky to meet up with fellow ex staff. It was such a sweet coincidence that one was back from Japan and another had taken leave and dropped by.

At times, I really miss those big and sometimes long lunch sessions of the past.

Wy and I have got so much to catch up that we didn’t quite realise that time wasn’t on our side. In a flash, the hands on the clock depicted a time which was way past her knock off time.

She was so sweet to bring her “secret manual” (秘密 was what she termed it as) just for me. It is actually a log book of all her wedding prep. It was indeed useful! I could never be as organised as her in my thoughts and planning.

We talked a lot about wedding prep. So em and hs, you didn’t miss out a lot in your absence. Hehe… for if you two were present, you would have been bored to tears.

Sweet sweet wy! As I’m typing this, I saw my email that she had sent me a template of her actual day wedding schedule. Normally, she is just like me—a great big procrastinator.

We also talked a lot about work. I’m really thankful for this “F4” (em, hs, wy, me) group of buddies. The four of us knew each other in ex co but up till now even though we are all in very different fields, we could really understand and relate to each other’s situation very well.

I’m so happy for her that she’s finally leaving ex co and that she has gotten another job, related to her field of studies, so quickly. After harbouring thoughts of leaving for so long, this is it finally.
I also shared with her my dilemma about reconsidering leaving my current co.

There were new updates which affected my decision and I’ve to give an answer soon. I was drawing out all the pros and cons to wy and she advised me to stay on.

em and hs, I wanna share this with you gals too but I dunno when’s the next time we are able to meet. Anyway, I would be quite sure both of you would advise me to stay on too.

Well, if that’s the case, I’ve to commit 1.5 more years.


[picture credit: Chrissie White]

Life is always full of decisions. Sometimes, you know what is best for you and go all out for it. At other times, you know what is right for you, yet you waver, unsure if it is truly the best. On some occasions, you have to take a longer time to figure out and slowly experience the process of your decision in order to know if you’ve made a right choice.

I do know what I want for my future -- family-wise. However, career-wise, I’m not sure if I could give a definite answer. My dream has remained the same but the journey to get there has been a little more unpredictable.

It’s been 3 weeks…

My throat has recovered but each time I teach, my vocal chords will start to hurt again and I'll just lose my voice. I’ve already used my diaphragm as much as possible, refrained from talking too loudly and too much, engaged different students to read out as many passages as possible but to no avail.

I’m still coughing and blowing thick green phlegm and mucus.

EEEeeewwww…. That’s disgusting I know.

My parents really know how to cheer me up even as I blow my nose and fill the dustbin to the brim with germs.

I kept commenting that this range of Baby Looney Tunes box tissue is sooooo CUTE.



When the last box of ke ai Baby Sylvester ran out, my mum instructed my dad to buy the Baby Looney Tunes again.

She specially chose the one with all the baby characters together to put it in my room.



Makes blowing nose abit more fun. Duncha think?

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Met up with evan 2 Saturdays ago.





Why don't we ever have enough time to catch up??? =D

Hope you managed to take leave for your France trip. When the date draws nearer I may bug you to help me buy the LoVe which I haven't bought till now. Incorrigible... yes. Or maybe I should just save the money.

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I went shopping alone for my D&D dress. Theme is Masquerade, I didn’t intend to dress strictly according to the theme but whatever dresses I have at home simply will not do! The event is next Wednesday. Time was running out and I was so desperate that I didn’t mind splurging on a dress if I could find one I really fancy. I was prepared to trawl Mandarin and Hilton Gallery and even Palais Renaissance. Then, I walked into Avana at Shaw and never had to proceed to search for my dress anymore.


Its unique style, its fit, its intricate detail, its exclusive design (only one piece available the whole of sg). That was the most expensive dress I’ve ever bought.

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I WANNA chop off the head and limps of someone who did the same to a cat!

My dad said it was on the papers. I can't believe such cruel acts exist in sg. The person who did that IS A GODAMN BEAST! I wish he/she/it burn in hell.


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I didn't mention this before on my blog. My heart feels so much lighter after I've decided not to take up the Dip in Edu. I think I've made the right choice not signing on the dotted line. I feel so much more qing song.

=)

I wanna work freely and not be tied down by anything.

=D

Turning to the dark side

I applied for leave tomorrow to dye my hair blue black and attend my cousin’s wedding dinner after that. (BTW, Some people actually thought blue black is funky. It's not. It's simply black with blue tinge and the blue isn’t very obvious. So it’ll just be like black after the blue fades. )

For days, my mum persuaded me not to go black but I refused to listen. Then today I announced to my fashion unconscious dad, “I’m gonna dye my hair black tomorrow.”

My fashion unconscious dad is those kind who doesn’t notice I change hair colour.

My fashion unconscious dad is those kind who doesn’t notice I cut my hair.

My fashion unconscious dad is those kind who just doesn’t bother about what I do to myself.

But my fashion unconscious dad actually said, “No la, don’t dye black la. Not nice.”

He insisted that black is not nice on me and that my current colour is much nicer. That made me reconsider my decision and polled whichever friends I can find in my sms line address book to get many 2nd opinions.

I got about 20 over replies back.

At first, there were more detractors.

I just can’t imagine you with black hair!

It’ll look very harsh on you.

Er?? Blue black? I’m too conservative so I would say no.

Black looks nice on fairer skin people.

Your skin tone suits brown better.

I think brown is your natural hair colour man. Please don’t go unnatural!

Your golden curls are so much better than black curls.

I like your golden beach babe look.

My sister dyed blue black and it is horrible.

I just find that it won't suit you. I dunno why.

Brown or should I say blonde hair is good on you.

A lot of replies were the same, that blue black is harsh and doesn’t suit me.

And then the supporters for blue-black came in.

One word… COOL!

It’ll really be something different from the usual you.

Nice. Like comic characters.

A refreshing change for the new year.

I'm gonna dye that colour too!

I think it’s nice. You’ll look like a gothic doll with black curls.

Blue black hair, black eyeliner. PRETTY!

It’s really cool! I think it’ll suit you.

I think you’ll be able to carry it off quite well.

I like black for a change.

I love to see you in black.

And more replies of “cool”, “something different”, “a good change”…

There were two sensible friends who said that the most important thing to consider would be how my bf feels.

However, to consider how kh feel would not be very sensible.

Kh likes me with black hair.

Kh likes me with straight hair.

Kh likes me without mascara, eyeliner, foundation, blusher, lipgloss.

Kh likes me without any make up.

Kh doesn't mind me cutting short hair or botak.

In short, kh likes me to be ugly.

So I can’t take his opinion into consideration. Haha…

HOW???????? I’m gonna dye tomorrow liao. I will definitely go dark. As I mentioned before on one of my post, no matter how dark a brown I dye, it’ll fade to golden on the “old hair” and remain dark brown on the black parts such that there is a huge contrast of 2 tones on my whole head! Most ugly I say. So seems like black is the only option. Since I’m gonna dye black, might as well dye blue-black and enjoy the blue tinge for a few days.

Also, geral said her friend’s blue-black hair faded to ash after that and I thought it was quite cool. I also saw a lot of people with nice black hair recently and I kinda miss a full head of black hair on me too. However, each time I look at my old photos, I would just cringe at how ugly I look with black hair.

Hmm.....

Work vs Tuition

This is my only off day with no tuition whatsoever. It is the only off day which I can have some me-time. My favourite tuitee has just finished his exams so I’m giving him and myself a 2 weeks break. My sweet cousin tuitee is basking in the Australia sun now. My playmate tuitee’s mum is fine with me taking an off.

Yay.. I finally got time to go for my facial appointment liao. I signed up a package at Bioskin last year and got a major lecture from my mum, went for the very first time in May 2005 and never did go for the second time. I find it a waste of time to simply lie there and not do anything for 2 hours while I could have shopped, marked my worksheets, blogged, read for that 2 hours. However, I must learn to relax and not think about the amount of time wasted. Looking at the state of my face, I also think I seriously need the facial!

From this week onwards, my off days are changed to Wednesday and Sunday. No more consecutive off days. Boo Hoo! I’ve gotten so used to working weekends and having offs on weekdays. However, my superior says a Sunday is very valuable and I will soon realise the importance of it.

Right now, I’m wondering how to arrange my tuition schedule around this new work schedule. I told all my tuitees’ mums about the change in off days and how difficult it is to arrange their sessions but none of them was willing to let me go. A part of me also can’t bear to let them go coz I really enjoy giving tuition.

I like my cute C. He is so cute! I’ve been teaching him since he was in Pri 2. He is going to be Pri 5 next year but he still looks as cute as he was the first time I saw him. He is not only physically cute, he always does cute things. He loves to tell me boh liao stuff. He loves to tell me cold jokes. He loves to ask me lame riddles. He loves to spin yarns and tell tall stories which are so obviously untrue. Nevertheless, no matter how boh liao his stuff are, how cold his jokes are, how lame his riddles are and how fake his stories are, they never fail to crack me up.

He is very cheeky and mischievous and often makes me angry with his carelessness, loss of marks, undone homework and gasak gasak attitude in studies. But he always brightens up my day with all his cute antics. His family members treat me very well too. His little sister and cousin love to go into the room and “disturb” me. When his grandma know that I have not eaten, she would bring in bowls of soup, snacks, biscuits and even offer to cook instant noodles for me. His mummy once offered to share her zi char bee hoon with me. His mummy does sales on fashion merchandise and she would hand me an Abercrombie or Hollister every now and then as she knows I like those brands.

One week plus and I’m already missing that cute boy manz.

I enjoy teaching my cousin too. Nope, not that hellish and psycho cousin brother who once used a knife on me and I still tahan him for 3 years but another cousin sister. I’ve been teaching her English and Maths since she was in Pri 5.

I love going to my aunt’s condo. Tucked along Bukit Timah Road, I love the nature theme of their condo. Whenever I set foot in there, I feel very relaxed. Lush greenery, swishing waterfalls, rocks surrounding the edge of the pool… It is like a tropical paradise. I always tell myself that one day, I would just go and bask myself by the poolside and use the sauna facilities. I’ve been telling myself for 2 years but I still have not done it.

I love to eat at my aunt’s place too. She loves to stuff me with lotsa delicious home-cooked food and she always serves dinner with impeccable style. If she has prawns, she would arrange the prawns facing one direction along the side of the bowl. If she has pieces of meat, she fans them out. She knows how to arrange the various dishes on the rice bowl such that I would not have difficult eating while teaching my cousin at the same time.

My aunt is also that kind of mummy who would cut different kinds of fruits after dinner. She cuts all the fruits up into bite sized pieces and not wedges which makes munching and talking much easier.

My cousin is a joy to teach. She was very quiet and not at all like all my talkative students, but she has slowly warmed up to me. She is that kind of tuitee who does all her school homework and tuition homework religiously and scores many As. I’ve lacked the confidence to teach Maths at secondary level (check out all my F9s) but when my aunt insists on me continuing to teach her when she promoted to Sec 1, I read the textbook and practiced my Maths really well. Maths became her best subject.

For Teachers’ Day, she gave me a pink Guess watch. I didn’t open the gift in front of her but you can be sure the very next session, I went to scold her for giving such an expensive gift.

She will be Sec 2 next year. I really don’t have the confidence to continue teaching her Maths and told my aunt about it. I told her my Maths at sec level is very lousy and that for the past 1 year, I’ve been reading up her text before I teach her. My aunt said, “Read the textbook and refresh your memory. Should be no problem. She got A for your Maths.” Me thinks she got A coz she is good, not because I am good.

See how it goes…

I also enjoy teaching my “playmate”, C. Why playmate and not tuitee? Coz she’s only 3 years old this year. She is a student in my ex co but not my student. Basically, I flash cards to her, read with her, do writing and drawing and play educational games. Sounds fun eh? But it’s not relaxed. The younger the kid, the more energy I need. It was supposed to be a temporary try out thingy till I got a job at that time. However, instead of stopping, her mummy says I can come as and when I’m free.

Both my playmate and her brother would scream and jump for joy, each rushing to open the door for me whenever I ring the bell. Their grandma would beam and say in Mandarin, “See, once you come, the whole house is filled with joy.”

There was once it was raining but had since stopped by the time I reached C’s place. When she saw me, she screamed, “Jiejie Jolene are you ok? It is raining. It is raining so heavily. I scared you don’t have umbrella.” Later, her grandma told me that for the whole afternoon before I arrived, C has been asking if I had brought my umbrella and whether I’m “ok”.

On another occasion when I didn’t appear for 2 weeks, C hugged me very tightly and said “Jiejie Jolene I love you!” I was so touched. I was already planning to break the news that I was unable to continue anymore.

I really missed all the little “I love yous”. In my previous job, I would hear them almost everyday and not get tired of hearing. Now the only little kid who utters that is C.

At least thrice, I brought it up to her mummy that I feel bad not being able to commit twice or even once a week constantly and she maintained that it is not an issue. Her grandma then said that their door is always opened for me and that I’m welcome back anytime.

I hope I’ll be able to work out how to arrange my schedule soon.

Good service goes a loooong way

Updated (8th November):
The Sony's are no good. Other than their sleek design, they have nothing much to offer. Very basic camera with a hefty price tag.

So now, Canon Ixus65 or Panasonic Lumix FX01?

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I’ve always boycotted Canon due to their sucky service. From small fry promoters to big boss to the service centres, Canon had proven that they sucked big time over and over again. And it’s not just me, a few other people I know find Canon staffs very cocky. However, just now, a promoter by the name of Catherine and another guy who I forgot to ask for his name really changed my image of Canon.

Catherine was really very sincere and she went out of her way to serve her customers well. I wanted to test the darkness of the pictures taken without flash. Often, many cameras on auto mode w/o flash capture the objects much darker than the actual object that we see under the light. So I was trying out with the ixus65 as somebody I know uses it and his shots looked brighter than mine. Catherine offered to bend down and take a few shots of the dark corners. It seemed like nothing really praiseworthy, but she was the 1st Canon person to do that. Usually, people find my requests very weird. She also answered all my funny questions and demands very patiently with great enthusiasm and a big smile of course.

I was so wowed by her attitude that I decided to pay her a visit again after my dinner to tell her that she really changed my bad impression of canon people. Alas, she was busy attending another customer and this other canon guy attended to me. I made sure they were from canon and not Harvey Norman before rattling off. Haha… I think I’m so super zek arp that he was trying to defend why the canon staffs behaved as such with each bad experience I narrated.

I decided to lift my personal ban on Canon and now Canon ixus65 is on my list.

My choices:

Canon ixus65

Price: $569 at the Canon-Harvey Norman roadshow till next Sunday 12 November.
Freebies: 2 x 1GB card; 1 x 512 card; 1 battery; 1 leather case; 1 7in1 bag
Functions: WOW
Fashion scale: 6/10

Sony T10 in pink or white

Will “test drive” tomorrow and update.
Fashion scale: 9.5/10

Sony T50 in red

Will “test drive” tomorrow and update
Fashion scale: 9/10

Panasonic Lumix fx01

I still like Lumix very much.
Fashion scale: 8.5/10

Views and recommendations? Professional shutterbugs, please don’t suggest those bulky SLR please. Looking for a handy one. =)

Which Background To Choose?

I wanna change my blog background and was experimenting with the different colour combination. I still like the sandy beige as the main body but it’s rather difficult to match that sandy colour with so many background colours which I like. =(

The earthy look, the classic look and the soft and simple look all do not seem to match the sandy beige. Also, my choices are limited as I need a colour dark enough to cover the ugly brown border wrapping the main body.

[Click to enlarge]

The default template -- Original Brown


Soft & Light Maple Leaves

Does the whole combi look very washed out?

Striped Mauve

Mauve doesn’t really go with sand.

Classic Victorian Wallpaper Beige

This alone with white main body and roses surrounding it looked simply fabulous. But it seems to blend into the main body.

Stone Grey

Looks fine, save for the ugly brown border.

Rockstone Deep Purple

Looks royal and dark enough to cover the brown border.

Chocolate Brown with leaves imprints

I finally settled for this. It matches the sand. It camouflages the brown border. It looks the best. Unfortunately, I don’t think many people could tell the difference. URGH!

I'm also trying to increase the width for the main body but try as I might to play around with the html codes, I can't get it. SIGH... It's like so much space being wasted at the sides.

My everyday life

Everyday I wake up to the sound of my Nokia handphone alarm (the sound I dread most). I click the snooze button and continue snoozing. This act goes on 2 or 3 more times before I haul myself out of bed and heave myself to the toilet, only to see it closed with one of my sisters in it. Great… more excuse to sleep in longer. And when I finally snag the loo, I would squirt the toothpaste onto my time-to-change-a-new-one toothbrush and lie down on my bed and brush.

Yes, I have not any talent to boast about, but this is one mean feat which my family members think could be considered a talent. I used to walk around and brush my teeth while reading the newspapers, choosing my clothes, making my milo, packing my bag till the paste threaten to drip itself all over the place. Then, a few months ago, I started slumping on the sofa with eyes closed and merrily brushing my teeth, thankful that I could rest my eyes for that few more minutes. Recently, I’ve switched to lying down on my bed instead. I remembered the different occasions when my dad, my mum and my sisters stood at my room door staring disbelievingly at the sight which they have since grown accustomed to.

I would then wash my face quickly and cursing that my complexion isn’t as good as it used to be. After putting on my contacts, I go into my room and choose what to wear. Then I apply some light make up, pack my bag and zip off to work.

Upon reaching the train station, I glance at the number of minutes my train will take to arrive and decide if I should buy the latest issue of 8 Days.

Without 8 Days, I stare blankly at all the people with various hairstyle and dress sense as well as the occasional navy advertisements plastered above the windows that make no sense. While staring blankly at people, I think about a million nondescript thoughts.

With 8 Days, fuck all the above. It’s entertainment time while I busy myself in the latest entertainment news and gossips.

Everyday I overwork to complete the neverending tasks and get underpaid at a company which is so rich I just cant bear to think about it.

I go for short lunches with my colleagues who are all also pressing for time and sometimes we make up for all the short lunches everyday by going for a big pizza feast once in a purple moon which last more than an hour. Unfortunately, we have only done it like erm 4 times so far. The rest of our lunch time everyday is spent eating hurriedly and speeding back to the “office” to continue with where we have left off.

I enjoy teaching very much but I will come to that later. Aside from teaching, we make teaching materials too. Making these materials for the children is quite enjoyable too but when the deadline is so tight, it isn’t quite as enjoyable anymore. Typing and writing reports once every two weeks is alright but at times draining coz I’m already running out of things to write and I often wait till the last minute to type them while I try to complete other more urgent matters. Then when the 70+ student reports come in once every 3 months, I can just die. I don’t wanna write just for the sake of writing. I really wanna write detailed progress reviews for the parents as well as for myself to keep track. It’s hard to compromise my precious time for this. I think for this term, I would simply write a short and quick review of all the children. I need my own precious time and social life sometimes.

Everyday, time passes so quickly. In a flash, 6pm comes and I worry incessantly about not being able to finish what I have hoped to finish in the day. Then I continue working with the other “2 years old” colleagues and irritating them non stop with my suaning comments and remarks till the sun goes down.

After work, I either go for tuition or meet kh for dinner and sometimes hang out at his place making materials or watching tv together. Simple pleasure.

I try to sleep early but I just can’t do it.

I go home and try to use the internet before my sis chases me away. Basically, I try plomp myself in front of the computer everynight for as long as I can. Then I would sit down and continue doing my work or else then laze around and do nothing… feeling like that’s the most heavenly thing to do.

Before I sleep, I read books I buy or borrow from my colleagues. But I’ve since finished reading them and have not sourced for more books. So right now I try to read the bible but I always end up reading my 8 days and other magazines lying around.

I read till I’m very sleepy and wonder why my life is so boring and tiring. Then I head for my bed and as soon as my head touches the pillow, I sleep like a baby until the annoying Nokia alarm starts to steal into my dreams insidiously and jerk me back to reality of my everyday life.

What is this reality of my everyday life? Do I treally dread it so much? Working constitutes a huge part of my everyday life awake. Do I like my job as much a before? But if I don’t teach, I really don’t know what to do. I don’t even know what jobs to look out for and to try out. I’m so lost. And as mentioned before, each time I ask people around me what else can I do. The only 2 answers are “MOE teacher” and “air stewardess”. SIGH……

I enjoy teaching very much. I LOVE all the small kids and majority of the parents have been very kind. I feel a sense of fulfillment to make a difference in these children at the most critical stage in their lives. I beam each time a child as young as a 2 year old calls me “Teacher Jolene”. I rethink my decision of quitting each time the children jump on me and hug me so tightly… because I know that at least I have countless little hearts who appreciate me and love me just for being their teacher.

On the other hand, the workload is really quite a lot and the pay really doesn’t justify for that amount of work. Work is 24/7 and not just 9am to 6pm. The management sucks big time too. And I have sacrificed a lot of social life and even a near break up just because of my busyness due to the nature of my job and tuition (back then when I gave tuition everyday).

Drudgery? Fulfilling?
I don’t know. I really don’t.

I’m confused.