We are so accustomed to disguising ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves

[Picture cedit: weheartit]

I came across this quote by François Duc de La Rochefoucauld on my nokia mobile quotes and I love it a lot. It made me ponder.

Don't we all disguise ourselves at one time or another?

Donning a mask, we mask ourselves from others.

Putting a face upon our face, we assume another identity, conceal our true emotions and overcome our insecurities.

Sometimes the mask we put on contrasts with our inner state, our character, our true identity. It does not fit and at the end of the day, we remove them and our true self emerges once again.


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At other times, the mask grows into us and we grow into our mask, becoming all but one entity. We struggle to peel off that mask but it has become a part of our identity. This time, are we still masking ourselves from others or have we truly masked ourselves from ourselves? The mask becomes us as we become our mask.

Disguising ourselves, we slowly become our own disguise.


[Picture cedit: elle, flickr]

Stripped of all our masks, does one true mask remain? Or is the one true mask the multiplicity of masks that we put on?

We wear layers of masks so often that if one is removed, the true self is not found directly beneath. It is just another mask. Yet it is necessary to wear masks and disguise ourselves every day.

I change and form myself around different groups of people. I believe many of us do that too. People always tell me how genuine I am, how certain behaviours, acts and mannerism are just so me but the truth is I'm never 100% myself. Nevertheless, I always keep a little of my base personality involved -- the true face beneath the many masks.


[Picture credit: Audrey Kawasaki]

On the other hand, does being different with different groups of people necessarily equate to putting on different masks just because I open up different aspects of my personality among different people? I could probably be masking certain characteristics to tune in to the situation accordingly.

I find that I've been changing a lot, acting the charade and being the chameleon. Yet friends who haven't seen me for a long time would always exclaim that I'm still the same old Jolene. On the other side of the plane, friends who are always in contact with me could out of the blue tell me that I've changed whether for the better or the worse and that I don't used to be like that.

There are times when I don't really know myself. As a true Gemini, I encompass so many opposing traits.

The melancholic sanguine.

The uninspired artist.

The wordless writer.

The reserved extrovert.

The smiley grouch.

The plucky wimp.

The frugal spendthrift.

Two counters of contradictory extremes displayed on a single bar. The single bar representing myself. I try to bring the two counters closer to each other, slide them towards the middle. However, there is no way of integrating this duality. I seek to search for my identity but I found myself lost in my SELF.

Most people search to be found. I searched only to be lost. Is the confused self who I really am?


[Picture cedit: ohbabyitsnatalie via weheartit]

And then I read Carl E. Pickhardt which helped me shed some light.

Whatever outward mask I choose to wear only affirms some inward part of me.

I don't have to bother about which part is masking which and which side I shoud trust.

I don't have to be bothered about being dsguised to myself.

Because a mask worn on the outside can actually encourage my inner self to come out.

People change over time and who we are is not something that can be cast in stone. We are the sum of our experiences -- the multiplicity of masks that we put on.