My everyday life

Everyday I wake up to the sound of my Nokia handphone alarm (the sound I dread most). I click the snooze button and continue snoozing. This act goes on 2 or 3 more times before I haul myself out of bed and heave myself to the toilet, only to see it closed with one of my sisters in it. Great… more excuse to sleep in longer. And when I finally snag the loo, I would squirt the toothpaste onto my time-to-change-a-new-one toothbrush and lie down on my bed and brush.

Yes, I have not any talent to boast about, but this is one mean feat which my family members think could be considered a talent. I used to walk around and brush my teeth while reading the newspapers, choosing my clothes, making my milo, packing my bag till the paste threaten to drip itself all over the place. Then, a few months ago, I started slumping on the sofa with eyes closed and merrily brushing my teeth, thankful that I could rest my eyes for that few more minutes. Recently, I’ve switched to lying down on my bed instead. I remembered the different occasions when my dad, my mum and my sisters stood at my room door staring disbelievingly at the sight which they have since grown accustomed to.

I would then wash my face quickly and cursing that my complexion isn’t as good as it used to be. After putting on my contacts, I go into my room and choose what to wear. Then I apply some light make up, pack my bag and zip off to work.

Upon reaching the train station, I glance at the number of minutes my train will take to arrive and decide if I should buy the latest issue of 8 Days.

Without 8 Days, I stare blankly at all the people with various hairstyle and dress sense as well as the occasional navy advertisements plastered above the windows that make no sense. While staring blankly at people, I think about a million nondescript thoughts.

With 8 Days, fuck all the above. It’s entertainment time while I busy myself in the latest entertainment news and gossips.

Everyday I overwork to complete the neverending tasks and get underpaid at a company which is so rich I just cant bear to think about it.

I go for short lunches with my colleagues who are all also pressing for time and sometimes we make up for all the short lunches everyday by going for a big pizza feast once in a purple moon which last more than an hour. Unfortunately, we have only done it like erm 4 times so far. The rest of our lunch time everyday is spent eating hurriedly and speeding back to the “office” to continue with where we have left off.

I enjoy teaching very much but I will come to that later. Aside from teaching, we make teaching materials too. Making these materials for the children is quite enjoyable too but when the deadline is so tight, it isn’t quite as enjoyable anymore. Typing and writing reports once every two weeks is alright but at times draining coz I’m already running out of things to write and I often wait till the last minute to type them while I try to complete other more urgent matters. Then when the 70+ student reports come in once every 3 months, I can just die. I don’t wanna write just for the sake of writing. I really wanna write detailed progress reviews for the parents as well as for myself to keep track. It’s hard to compromise my precious time for this. I think for this term, I would simply write a short and quick review of all the children. I need my own precious time and social life sometimes.

Everyday, time passes so quickly. In a flash, 6pm comes and I worry incessantly about not being able to finish what I have hoped to finish in the day. Then I continue working with the other “2 years old” colleagues and irritating them non stop with my suaning comments and remarks till the sun goes down.

After work, I either go for tuition or meet kh for dinner and sometimes hang out at his place making materials or watching tv together. Simple pleasure.

I try to sleep early but I just can’t do it.

I go home and try to use the internet before my sis chases me away. Basically, I try plomp myself in front of the computer everynight for as long as I can. Then I would sit down and continue doing my work or else then laze around and do nothing… feeling like that’s the most heavenly thing to do.

Before I sleep, I read books I buy or borrow from my colleagues. But I’ve since finished reading them and have not sourced for more books. So right now I try to read the bible but I always end up reading my 8 days and other magazines lying around.

I read till I’m very sleepy and wonder why my life is so boring and tiring. Then I head for my bed and as soon as my head touches the pillow, I sleep like a baby until the annoying Nokia alarm starts to steal into my dreams insidiously and jerk me back to reality of my everyday life.

What is this reality of my everyday life? Do I treally dread it so much? Working constitutes a huge part of my everyday life awake. Do I like my job as much a before? But if I don’t teach, I really don’t know what to do. I don’t even know what jobs to look out for and to try out. I’m so lost. And as mentioned before, each time I ask people around me what else can I do. The only 2 answers are “MOE teacher” and “air stewardess”. SIGH……

I enjoy teaching very much. I LOVE all the small kids and majority of the parents have been very kind. I feel a sense of fulfillment to make a difference in these children at the most critical stage in their lives. I beam each time a child as young as a 2 year old calls me “Teacher Jolene”. I rethink my decision of quitting each time the children jump on me and hug me so tightly… because I know that at least I have countless little hearts who appreciate me and love me just for being their teacher.

On the other hand, the workload is really quite a lot and the pay really doesn’t justify for that amount of work. Work is 24/7 and not just 9am to 6pm. The management sucks big time too. And I have sacrificed a lot of social life and even a near break up just because of my busyness due to the nature of my job and tuition (back then when I gave tuition everyday).

Drudgery? Fulfilling?
I don’t know. I really don’t.

I’m confused.