Life is indeed transient

Hazel’s demise has left a huge impact on all who knew her. Even though I do not know her personally, I feel upset that she’s no longer with us. It is just too sudden. Why does it have to happen to somebody so young, so sweet and so bubbly… someone so full of enthusiasm for the life ahead of her?

When I received an sms from Vivien on Thurdsday about Hazel’s admission to hospital, going into coma and her critical condition, I was shocked to the expense of disbelief. I kept her in my prayers but I had the misconception that she would get better. After all, most people do recover from high fever right? I guess that was what many of us thought or probably we were just clinging onto that glimmer of hope.

I logged onto LD to follow up on Hazel’s condition. I read about how things really weren’t looking good for her… about her dialysis… about her condition not improving… about how the doctors could not diagnose what was wrong with her except that it was a viral infection… about her immune system being very low… Then the positive news came… the stabilisng of her heartbeat… lesser bleeding from her nose and internal organs… the colour from her face coming back… Despite all these, she was still not out of danger yet, but at least it left us more positive. Many of us were praying hard for her to conquer this battle. We were all hoping to see her soon.

I logged off in the wee hours of Saturday morning, feeling glad that things are looking much better and woke up thereafter thinking Hazel would wake up shortly. However on my way to work later in the morning, Regina sms-ed me that Hazel had left us.

It was all too sudden that I really didn’t know what to say. She was healthy just a week before and now God had called her home. Had God made a mistake? Did St Peter write the wrong name in his big book? There must be some mistake somewhere. Hazel would wake up. She would.

At night, I went back to LD to read whatever I’ve missed, hoping that it was some kinda cruel joke, but no… a cruel fact greeted.

I would never see a post from her again. I would never receive a pm from her again. I would never see her prompt replies whenever I posted something late at night again. All that lingers of her on LD are her past posts and her animated avatar with a girl waving sweetly.

Living life to the fullest!

Leaving this ugly "world"

Could these be signs?

When I read what Silver wrote about Hazel’s physical condition, the bloatedness beyond recognition, the bleeding, the heavy panting, the dependance on the life support machine, my heart ached for poor Hazel. Nobody should be made to go through such suffering.

My heart goes out to her family and friends. I hope they are coping well.


Dear Hazel,

I’m sorry I didn’t pray hard enough. Please rest in peace. I’m very sure you are safe in the garden of God where there is no pain and suffering. You’ll be missed by us all.

Love,
Jolene

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Life is indeed transient. Do cherish the times you are here in this world as well as cherish the people around you. You never know when that joker St Peter would decide to add another resident to his heavenly land or when the devil would invite you over for a round of chivas. I just hope the devil doesn’t come knocking with bottles of fine bubbly champagne.

Building bridges

I really don’t understand why

I am a patient person but I know I’m most impatient with her. I’m trying to change… really… I am. I hope she can change too. Coz really, it works both ways, just like building a bridge.

I was doing very well just now. I promised to help her type that letter when I was free. We were having such a great time with the letter… asking her about the details, teaching her how to use the email, laughing at her when she tried to do a hands on and got it wrong when usually I won’t be as patient to go that far. I even showed her the photos taken the recently as she wanted to know what I was up to during my birthday week.

We had lots of fun and I was just beginning to feel that bond which I haven’t felt for a long time.

I really don’t know what happened. She started on her highly annoying way of talking. I hate the way she thinks – very shallow and plain unreasonable that I just had to correct her thoughts. Then, the accusation started, everything that I wasn’t became a fact when it comes from her mouth. I really hate being misunderstood, especially so when my intentions were kind.

Whenever I try to change, I put in lots of effort to condition my mind to react accordingly. I put in lots of effort to think before I speak. I put in lots of effort to moderate my tone. I put in lots of effort to slip some laughs every now and then. I put in lots of effort to control my temper even when I hear unpleasant things.

I’ve built many bridges in the past, almost reaching the other side, only to have them shattered within a minute.

Sometimes, I wonder if I should stop building bridges. What’s the use of building a bridge when it doesn’t start from both sides?

Celebrations, meet ups & pig outs in May To be updated in a new post

You know, for the past few weeks I’ve been feeling quite happy.

It must be the month. May is such a cheerful month.

Work has still been the 50+ hours a week but I’m fine with it and sometimes enjoying my time in the office. I’m slowly not dreading returning and having to listen to raised voices, got to spend a lot more quality time with kh, pig out at different places, meet up with different groups of friends, chilling around with lovely people in my life and most importantly being myself. In addition, a lovely friend of mine got married and she was soooo pretty and blushing with radiance that night. I feel so happy for her.

Life’s positive when you choose to see all the positive aspects of it.

Life’s happy when you choose to live it happily.

=)


In the meantime, watch this space for loads and loads of photo-intensive updates. I swear that I’m trying my very best to edit my photos and type my draft whenever I can.

P/S: Oh yes, for those friends who asked me to change my blog song, just switch off your speakers for now. My blog song is actually the Korean song from 200 Pounds Beauty. The English song currently blaring at you comes together with the V-day photo slides entry and I cannot disable the song. Sorry to spoil your ears.


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~*Taggies*~

12 May 08, 10:40
passer-by: Hi your information about eyelash extension is very useful. Very good. One more thing.. is the process painful or uncomfortable? Thanks.
Hi there, the process is neither painful nor uncomfortable. It can get quite long though so I had to keep criss crossing my legs as I’m those who can’t keep still for long.

13 May 08, 21:13
jus: wah wahh wahhh...splurging mode!!! ^^"
Haha.. but but but if you notice, I haven’t had a shopping post for a looooong time, so it’s time to splurge.

14 May 08, 19:12
canny: phew! finially read thru & view ur many many nice pics. but i'm so tried now (its 4.11am now!) I go zzZ liao.. leave u a comment another time! =) Cheers!
24 May 08, 17:08
canny: happy birthday Jolene babe!! Hope you have a lovely dovey celebration on ur special day!! May happiness be with u always!!~ *muackz*
I’ve read all your long long comments liao. Thanx… I hope to reply all soon. I also wanna leave you comments on your lovely trip. Oh and thank you so much for your birthday wishes. *Big HuGZ*

18 May 08, 12:11
gerra: i alr linked u but its on my personal blog which not pple pple know about cos its personal
18 May 08, 12:11
gerra: muhaha i divided in to 2 blogs personal one is gera-room minus the magic get it?
Ok sure! Yeah, I didn’t realise you have another blog till like a month ago.

23 May 08, 12:45
Shoplette: Invitation to join Shoplette Beta for Jolene and her friends. Pls check out http://www.shoplette.com
I’d wanted to say no advertising allowed but your site is something unique.

25 May 08, 17:12
Missy T: Jolene update pls! Is it your birthday? Happy birthday!
I also wanna update leh. But no time. Got tooooooo many stuff to update. Oh and thanks for your birthday wishes.


Replies to comments coming up after I finish watching my Central Affairs II or maybe not...

Edited to add: Comments replied! Do check back. =)

Inspired to start my inspiration board

Ever since I joined this company, I've been wanting to decorate my work station with an inspiration or photo board.







Nevertheless, the thought that I would leave anytime soon hindered me from ever starting one.



However, days passed... months rolled into a year and soon two years is almost approaching.



I am still here.

My board is still undone.

My wall is still almost empty.



The lack of time and the sheer laziness when time permits are more excuses I give to myself.



While sourcing for inspirations, I wonder if i should go for the...

sweet romaticised look


rustic look


naturalistic look


The bold, contrasting look such as

black and white MOD prints


psychedelic prints of purple, blue and black


The list goes on...

I don't think I'll ever go about making my inspiration board. I'm just so lazy.

Since I can't present my own inspiration board, I hereby present my fave...



It's literally a cork board!

Now, where are all the corks at home?


~photo credits: flickr~

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