Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Wish Upon a Star

If only my ugly feet would allow me to be a shoe person, I would definitely fork out the moolah for a pair of limited edition Jimmy Choo Stardust.



These heels are so elegant can? If I get them, they can bejewel my small and ugly feet and transform them into twin beauties. I will tower over the rest and stick my nose up in the air before falling over the 4-inch heels.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~*Taggies*~

12 Oct 07, 23:35
Canny: Jo, be strong too, for urself, for Simba!! Will keep her in my prayers. I have a pet myself, entirely can understand how u feels. its really heartaching..'Shen lao pin si' is unavoidable. We gotta cherish the happy times & create keepsake memories!! Hope Simba is strong to overcome & fight against the illness. *big hugs to u*
20 Oct 07, 10:02
Canny: Big Tight Hugs to u.. I'm sad & sorry to hear abt Simba. *sob* Take great care dear!
Hi babe… this is so super outdated. Thanx! I’m emotionally ok liao. =)


13 Oct 07, 11:24
reg: hey babe sorry to hear about simba..I think you should go get a 2nd opinion if possible..heard that some vets don't do a good job of diagnosing diseases, so maybe there's still hope for simba!
Haha… by the time I reply this, we’ve already met up! Thanx for the concern, babe.


14 Oct 07, 23:27
jus: yoo!! haa, 15mins to read the chinese text, im sure its not too long a process!! =)
31 Oct 07, 00:52
jus: looks like ur having fun n all smiles again! =) tts great!
It’s long!!! Did you see how short your text was? Haha.. Yeah those smiles and fun were all in between. But one cannot be sad about something for every minute of the day. I’ve gotten over Simba’s passing but you know, at times still will miss her and stuff.


16 Oct 07, 01:00
frequent reader: I dun noe how ur link got to my favourites but I cant remain silent anymore. I'm really sorry to hear bout the passing of Simba. My eyes r teary fr the poem. Simba will b happy to noe she's loved by u
Thanx for not remaining silent anymore… the words are so touching. Thanx a lot. Maybe you can give yourself a nickname and use it whenever you drop by ya?


18 Oct 07, 11:01
sherin: jo, please do take care k, simba is blessed to have all of you loving her
30 Oct 07, 12:28
sherin: the pic with your SO, so xinfu. and very happening life you have these days hor. hehe get well soon dear !
Thanx babe! The pic with my SO so xin fu??? Did you read the small words? Hehe… they are meant to be tongue-in-cheek la. I was quite surprised that you said “get well soon” coz I made no mention that I’m sick. You got telepathy! But then again, I think you were referring to my wisdom tooth surgery right? =p


19 Oct 07, 01:22
p.f: Hi sorry bout the loss of your beloved cat. Keep the memories. I was jus wonderin, some of your old photos can't be viewed. Will you be doing somethin to that? I am interested in your halloween 05.
27 Oct 07, 09:41
p.f: Wil u reply by today? R U going for halloween parties diz yr? I was attracted by ur meez devil-angel and wonder what will u and ur friends dress up as 05 and diz yr. Really hope to c your reply. Thks
Hi sorry for this late reply. I’ve been really bz. So did you go clubbing on the Halloween weekend? If so, what did you dress up as? I didn’t go clubbing this year. Yup, I realised that some of my Nov 2005 photos can’t be viewed anymore. Shouldn’t have used putfile back then. As to whether I would be doing something to that… well, maybe when I am freer, I might reupload the photos. 2005 not much dressing up. Just played around with make up, used eyeliner to draw on our faces and pretended to be Dracula’s wives. We are scrooges and unwilling to spend on costumes.


24 Oct 07, 17:46
Missy T: Hope you are fine. Hope to see more updates soon.
Thanx.. I’m fine… Yeap… got updates.


28 Oct 07, 22:18
viv: yo,burying it would be a good idea. I used to buy my hamsters downstairs too. At least u hav an urn, i put mine in colgate box!
Haha… colgate box is cute… You purposely say “colgate” rite? I thought you are darlie pai one? I straight away put my newspaper-wrapped hamsters into the holes I dug. No proper coffin even. I haven’t told you about my er jie’s strong refusal in burying right? Sigh…

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Oktober Overdued

Chipmunk Face Day 3
Sunday, 14th October 2007

It is the 3rd day of my wisdom tooth extraction. With chipmunkness and deformed face shape still visible, I was raring to go out with deardear as I haven’t seen him for the whole week. It was also one of the rare Sundays that I don’t have tuition till the evening.

Once kh saw me, he looked at me straight and burst out, “Hahaha… chipmunk face chipmunk face!”

I didn’t dare to imagine what he would have said if he saw me the day before.

He said that my face shape is deformed with one side sagging down.



But at least I made a good effort in trying to mask the ugliness.

From swelling and ugly bruising…


To only swelling…


Chipmunk face didn’t bother about her stitches and went to eat hou liao (good food) with cruel boy. People kept on staring at me but I ji tao heck care.

Shrimp salad… YUM!!!


Crayfish pasta


Mixed fruits chocolate fondue.


Then, we went shopping. Didn’t really shop la.. just jalan jalan.


I enjoyed myself. Kh is really my de-stress therapy.




~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

A NO-WORK off day
Wednesday, 17th October 2007

I accompanied mum to the polyclinic for the routine check ups and follow ups.

Someone called my name. I thought I heard wrongly coz I would never bump into anyone I know at polyclinics.

Coincidence of all coincidence, it was tiff!

It seems that my mum was more happy to see her than I was. If you’ve been reading, you would know that tiff and I were the first friends in primary 1 and very good friends too. Hence, my mum knows her and was excited to see her.

Don’t be mistaken, tiff, I was very happy to see you too!

Despite having persistent rashes, Tiff had to rush back to work but we arranged to meet up later in the day at Kinokuniya for some book –shopping.

I met up with apr for a quick lunch as we were both in town for our separate appointments. Talk about coincidence again.

It was our first time at Soba So Good.


Huge portions… A bowl of soba accompanies every set meal.


So we had soba on top of rice as the main bulk of the meal. It’s Soba No Good for pro-Atkins-dieters.





After apr went off for her dental appointment, I was left to shop alone while waiting for tiff. I wanted to buy so many things but I had to control. The feeling of having an almost empty bank account is no fun. I felt so restrained. I’m one who can save very well but once I see something I really like, I don’t mind spending. Oh by the way, I didn’t go broke la. I just went to invest almost my entire savings but sshh… won’t say what it is first… must make money first then can disclose.

I was looking for more working clothes but went on a Calvin Klein trying frenzy instead.

I like these clothes…


But my favourite fitting room try of the day would be this CK fur hooded jacket.



It’s nicer than all the marshmallow fur fur Abercrombie jackets but the price is a whooping $500+. I love it but I would have been really crazy to buy it. I ended up buying a shirt instead. It’s my most expensive shirt to date. Ya, it’s expensive to me… remember, I’m one who can save very well?

Instead of going book-shopping with tiff, we only stopped by borders and kino for a while. Hahaha…

Our sausage and rosti dinner at Swiss German Sausage Bar


I must say that this is quite good and the price is reasonable. I did not know about this stall as I never liked eating at the crowded Taka Basement.

Tiff, I say you must get outta that place real soon. You are still very funny but your energy level is really depleting man.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sparkling, Clean teeth
Friday, 19th October 2007


I went to remove the stitches on my gum. I was a little nervous for I wondered if the dentist would go, “Now, let’s see what’s under here. Donuts… chocolates… crayfish… pasta… prawn… soba… tempura… mushroom… sausage… …”

I also washed and scaled my teeth. For once in 13 years, the back of my teeth became so white. The smoothness was indescribable. I kept using my tongue to feel the smoothness behind my teeth.

SHIOK!

I sure hope I don’t get addicted to visiting the dentist.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Grill-Out at Sunset Way
Sunday, 21st October 2007


A small bunch of us jc friends met up for dinner at Grill-Out, Sunset Way.

If you’ve never heard of Sunset Way, let’s shake hands. Sunset Way is an area of restaurants, cafes and bars situated in Clementi. Tucked within and under HDB flats, it exudes uniqueness. Where can you find such a place in sunny Singapore, I ask you?

I don’t like the pseudo classy alfresco dining. Dining outdoors is really uncomfortable in our humid climate. The place was so dark and it didn’t help that our candles were constantly blown out by the occasional gusts of wind. The waiter had to slam a torch on our table.

Their Black Angus ribeye steak is quite appetizing but that was the first time I didn’t feel full after having steak. I wonder what was wrong.



Other dishes my friends had…

I dunno the name of this




Tam’s dinner. Some yellow tail thingy with wasabi.


Tam & me


We had a mini birthday session for caleb, tam and jw.


I heard from my friends that this place had very good reviews. Hmm… The Black Angus ribeye was delicious no doubt but my friends and I agreed that we would not head there anytime soon. It has probably gotta do with the ambience.


Next stop -- Wala Wala.

The other jo – the funny funny bitch…


Oh! We haven’t been calling each other “biatch” for a long time! She’s always sooooo busy too.

This jo – the unfunny biatch




I haven’t seen reg for a long time too.


Haha… I was playing around and got this…

Looks like we’ve got no nose but I like the effect.

Group shots









I hope the 29th December class party would materialise. I really can’t wait t see everybody again. Jw in charge, should be no sweat la huh.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Another Goodbye
Tuesday, 23rd October 2007

It is apr’s last day at hq. I’m really gonna miss this same wavelength bimbotic buddy at work. I don’t care lor. We must still meet up every now and then hor?

A giant Pooh Bear Smarties for the people in our room


Got pooh bear slide show camera wor.


So cute. Reminds me of those toys of the 80s.

A sweet and unique handmade card from her


Why is this card sweet? Coz she was so thoughtful to add Simba and her stumpy tail in the card. All the words written in her ugly handwriting was sweet too. Well, I sure hope she’ll get married soon so we can be her jie mei. Don’t play us out hor?

I did not bring the card home. When I showed my family members the photos of the card, nobody could figure out what that was. Even after I’ve pointed out the ears, head, body and tail, they still could not make out that it was Simba. Only clever kh could. He took a few seconds to scrutinise the shape and proclaimed confidently that it was Simba.

Photos of us





I was inspired by the effects of the photos on apr’s camera with spoilt screen and came up with these…













~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

No Halloween Party Nevermind
Saturday, 27th October 2007


What was supposed to be a wild Halloween cheonging with the bimbo sisters as discussed a few months back turned out to be nothing. I was quite sian of the whole last minute changes initially. I’ve already had a simple and cheap “costume” in my mind. Nevermind, save for next year. I hope that this Wednesday would be fun!

Went to vivocity with kh. We’ve only been to vivo 3 times so far coz kh hates the place. I hope he begins to like the place coz I love to buy clothes from nichii.

Had dinner at the place w/o any queue: Aji by Hanabi









The best dish of all!


Oh yes today would be the last time I see my favourite P2 boy. His withdrawal reason was that his mum was too busy to bring him for tuition. Why is it that I don’t feel sad anymore?


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Recently, I feel like I’ve been stretched to the max.

My work is never-ending. I know sometimes I can only blame myself for always trying to improve on the materials and giving myself more work.

Just 3 weeks ago, I pia my phonics course outline at one shot after doing some on and off research. The franchise person was very pleased with the unique and creative approach. I was like a dog with two tails when I heard that and felt extremely smug about my work. Then just a few days later, they had a change of plan. My creative approach would not be very feasible if they would want to maximise enrolment. I felt like all my efforts were wasted. I had to come up with a new plan and I’m not even halfway through.

The next bomb dropped on me. I have to revamp the whole of primary English curriculum to fit the franchise people’s taste. Ok la, it’s not just to suit the franchise people. Our co will benefit from the revamp in the long run too. I have all due respect for this lady as I could see that she is not only a passionate educator, she is one who is good at sales and marketing too. Her ideas are also quite brilliant. However, to revamp the whole curriculum now is a bit too much for me. Without, the revamp, I’m already doing a lot of modifications as you can see how much time I spent on work.

Now with this revamp, I will be having an additional colleague to help me but I wonder if that is really enough. My superior said we work hard now so end of next year can relax a bit. I was thinking if I wanna work so hard now, I will feel like staying till the end of next year. If not, I work so hard in revamping and leave after that a bit wasted right? I won’t get to enjoy the fruits of my labour. Hmm… … But I’ve already missed the chance for that interview.

Besides work, I had intensive tuition for my pri school tutees for their final exams right after my sec sch tutee. During the weekdays, I would try to leave earlier from work to give tuition whenever I did not have night classes to teach. On Sundays, I would be teaching the bro and sis 3 to 4 sessions. By the time I reached home, the sun had set and I was really quite sian to continue working at home. This went on for 3 weeks. Giving a 2-week-break for my sec tutee wasn’t a break for me as I used the additional time to teach the pri sch tutees. Now that the pri sch tutees’ exams are over and I’m giving them a break, my sec sch tutee’s tuition has to resume.

Do I sound like I’m dreading all this? Don’t get me wrong, that isn’t my feeling. I enjoy giving tuition. It’s just that I feel like I need a break.

I’ve informed both tutees’ mum that I may go for a holiday and they said by all means. I really yearn to go on a holiday but with all the additional revamping workload and sudden obligation not to go on leave, I don’t know if I can take a break at the end of this year.

You know how I like to teach the cute cute C right? Ok for easy reference, I’ll call him big C and his P1 sister, little C. Big C always does very cute things. Even though he is gonna be in P6 next year, he is still as cute as when I first taught him in P2.

As for his sister, I don’t really like teaching her as she’s really very naughty and annoying every now and then. She knows she’s annoying and she enjoys it. So can you imagine how exasperating it is to teach her at times? Luckily she doesn’t exhibit this habit at all times. When she is well-behaved, she is SUPER well-behaved. So guai and cute that I would hug her and praise her for the good attitude.

There was a period of time last week when their mum went overseas. She wrote a letter for her mum. She asked me to read it and I corrected her grammar and spelling mistakes. She immediately grabbed her pencil and eraser to correct all her mistakes. On most other days, she doesn’t even show such eagerness when I correct her mistakes in her school work and assessment books.

After resealing the letter, little C said, “I tell you a secret. All the letters I write to mummy, she never read. She all put one side and when I go and see, she never open.”

My heart ached when I heard that. I assured her that her mum had probably read and resealed the letters.

Anyway, this was what she wrote:





Not exactly in perfect English but I was really touched by it.

What’s more, Little C did all the past year school exam papers conscientiously and scored Band 1 for all the Mathematics papers. She “collected” and packed them all neatly so she could show her mum when she came back. When it was 10 minutes to the end of the last session before her paper the next day, she insisted on doing another paper to “collect” for her mum to see.

The night their mum returned home, little C immediately grabbed the stack of exam papers and dashed out. From inside the room, I heard her mother rebuke her for running out during tuition.
I’m appalled at the temper my mum and er jie could throw. Now I’m left to clear the shit.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Simba AD

Monday, 15th October 2007

When will the tears stop flowing? Each time Simba’s name was mentioned, tears streamed down my face.

Whenever I got tired of doing my stuff, I would tend to look out for her to sayang or play with her but she’s no longer around and it felt so weird. Never will I be able to see her catwalk out from the rooms. Never will I be able to feel her brush against my legs. Never will I be able to see her sleeping soundly at all her haunts. Never will I be able to kiss her cute sleeping face. Never will I be able to creep up to her and rub her tummy...

I miss her.



Tuesday, 16th October 2007

Woke up teary-eyed and thought that it was all a bad dream. Reality hit me and I know I have to go on. Still on mc but went back to work. Got tonnes to do.

Over at work, my voice still quiver when Simba was mentioned. I forced myself not to cry in public. It was difficult but I did it!

Later at night, Kh and I went to collect Simba’s ashes. The little urn is so small and cute. Just like a little Chinese teapot.



When I held the urn in my palms, it felt so warm. It felt as if she was still around.

Over at kh’s place, his mum was very amused by the urn. She was smiling and asking how and where they did it. She never knew there was such a service for pets cremation and asked me if I had any inkling that they do it at Mandai crematorium. I thought his mum was kinda cute. She used to have an aversion to cats but kh’s bro brought one home and she is slowly getting used to it, just like how my mum was back then.

When kh sent me to the door, he looked at the little urn and said, “Bye bye baba.”

My da jie and mum pat pat the urn with tears brimming in their eyes. Mum kept going, “Simba guai1… Simba guai1…”

We started discussing about how Simba was waiting to spend time with everyone before she passed away. She went into all our bedrooms equally when she normally wouldn’t do that. Kh didn’t see her since she came back from the vet and finally saw and sayang her on Sunday night. My er jie was in Tioman over the weekend and she waited for her to come back before passing away on Monday when coincidentally I was on wisdom tooth mc and my er jie was on evening shift. Needless to say, my mum would be at home in the morning and my dad would usually come home in the afternoon every Monday. My da jie just managed to spend some time with her in the morning before she went to work and also got my dad to hold her so she could force feed her medicine and food. Although my dad and da jie didn’t get to see her before she went away in the afternoon, at least they did spend some time with her and stroked her for the last time in the morning.

My mum said that Simba really knew how to choose the timing. I guess she really knew her time was up but was able to mask it very well. We almost thought she was getting on well at home and would be able to live past her death sentence.

The vet said that cats are really good at feigning healthy and would usually go to a place where nobody could find them before dying there. I think Simba was acting strong all along as she didn’t want us to be sad or see her go.

Now the little urn is sitting next to me on my table as I am typing this. She loved jumping onto my table whenever I was not around. I guess my sisters will each wanna put the urn at all her usual haunts every few days.



Wednesday, 17th October 2007

I still wake up with tears in my eyes. I’m still doing things I normally do when Simba was still around. I continue closing the folding door. I still look out for her when I open the main door for fear of her dashing out. We used to chase after her, catch her and beat her butt butt when she ran out. How I wished she could dash out now.

Despite all these, I’m slowly beginning to cope with her not being around. Going out helped take my mind off all these. However, when I returned home and opened the main door, I was still bearing in mind to be careful for Simba may dash out any moment.



Thursday, 18th October 2007

I managed to learn how to hold back my tears… at long last.



Friday, 19th October 2007

The forum people have been so sweet… The cat lovers… The pet owners… They are always sharing stories and advices and it gave me a sense of support. Reading what they’ve said made me feel a lot better. There are so many cat lovers out there.

One of them shared about the story of Rainbow Bridge:


The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven
is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies
that has been especially close to someone here,
that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills
for all of our special friends
so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine
and our friends are warm
and comfortable

All the animals who had been ill
and old
are restored to health and vigor;
those who were hurt or maimed
are made whole and
strong again,
just as we remember them in our dreams
of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content,
except for one small thing;
they each miss someone very special to them,
who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together,
but the day comes when one suddenly stops
and looks into the distance.
His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers.

Suddenly he begins to run from the group,
flying over the green grass,
his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted,
and when you and your special friend finally meet,
you cling together in joyous reunion,
never to be parted again.

The happy kisses
rain upon your face;
your hands again caress the beloved head,
and you look once more
into the trusting eyes of your pet,
so long gone from your life
but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...


Now, I know Christians do not believe that animals have souls and that animals go to heaven. However, I would prefer to believe otherwise. My views are similar to Moira Anderson Allen, who happens to be a Christian too.

Well, I would never know the answer until I leave this world. Maybe St Peter would greet me at the Pearly Gates with a hello, tell me that I’ve been wrong all along, chastise me for my stubbornness and lack of faith, before whisking me down to the Gates of Hell.

If Simba isn’t playing in the beautiful garden of God, I would very much like to believe that she is gamboling amongst the lush green meadow of Rainbow Bridge.

Is the beautiful garden of God and Rainbow Bridge two separate entities or are they really intertwined?

Hmm… I feel that things happen the way you believe it to happen. So believe in what you believe in.

While googling for Rainbow Bridge, I stumbled upon this website that made my tears flow endlessly again.

I could almost feel Simba “talking”.


~~~
And God asked the feline spirit
"Are you ready to come home?"

"Oh, yes, quite so", replied the precious soul.
"And as a cat, You know I am most able
to decide anything for myself."

"Are you coming then?" asked God
"Soon", replied the whiskered angel.
"But I must come slowly
My human friends are troubled
For You see, they need me, quite certainly."

"But don't they understand?" asked God -
"that you'll never leave them?
That your souls are intertwined, for all eternity,
That nothing is created or destroyed,
It just is . . . forever and ever and ever?"

"Eventually they will understand" replied the cat
"For I will whisper in their hearts - that I am always with them
I just am . . . forever and ever and ever."


~~~
To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from the Bridge, here I dwell with God above.
Here there's no more tears of sadness, here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on."
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you ... in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry, it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb.
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too.
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night ... "My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented ... that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along I made somebody smile. God says: "If you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low.
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street with me on your mind.
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go ... from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going ... you're coming here to me."


~~~
I stood beside your bed last night, I came to have a peek.
I could see that you were crying and you found it hard to sleep.
I "spoke" to you softly as you brushed away a tear ...
"It's me, I haven't left you. I'm well, I'm fine. I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast as you slowly sipped your tea.
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wished I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today. you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I'm not lying there.
I walked towards home beside you as you fumbled for your key.
I gently touched you with a paw and softly said "It's me."

You looked so very tired as you sank into a chair,
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you every day,
To say to you with certainty "I never went away."

As you sat there very quietly, you smiled and then you knew ...
In the stillness of the evening that I was very close to you.
The day is over and as I watch you yawning,
I say "Good night, God bless and I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll again stand side by side.
I have a lot to show you, so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.


~~~
Don't grieve for me; for now I'm free,
I'm following the path God laid for me,
I took his lead when I heard Him call,
I turned back and then left it all,
I could not stay another day,
To purr, to love, to work, or play,
Events uncompleted must stay that way,
I'm found at peace at the close of the day.
If my parting left a void,
then fill it with remembered joy,
A friendship shared, a purr, a kiss,
Oh yes, these things I, too, will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I savoured much:
Good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief,
Lift up your heart and share with me;
God wanted me now, he set me free.



Saturday, 20th October 2007

My sisters and I have been placing "Simba" at different positions everyday… under my bed, on my table, by er jie’s fan base, on er jie’s bed, under the coffee table, by the wall between master bedroom and da jie’s room…

We will always ask one another, “Guess where is Simba today?”

We didn’t place it in mum and dad’s room. They are getting very superstitious about what misfortune the ashes could bring.

*shrugs* I wonder why they believe in such things.


Sunday, 21st October 2007

I've received lots of very touching smses from all the lovely friends and people who like Simba or saw her in real life before. I only managed to save this one from zanne:


hey gal, sorry this is like 1 week late.. I just heard abt simba.. Hmmm.. Dunno how to say to console or say anything intelligent at this point in time.. Well, she is 1 of e 1st cat tt help me to slowly overcome my phobia of animals and i'll def. miss her.



Monday, 22nd October 2007

It has been a week since Simba’s death. In between, mum has become extremely paranoid about keeping Simba’s ashes in the house.

My sisters and I kept brushing all these paranoia and superstitions aside.

A few days ago, when my er jie’s hp bell tinkle, mum got a shock coz she thought it was Simba. I mean... how scary can Simba be? How I wished Simba could come back now!!!

Initially, my parents thought the little urn was cute but after a week of going out with different friends, they concluded that THE WHOLE WORLD says it's unlucky to keep ashes in the house!!!

All those people are like uncle-aunty kinda pattern and many are religious towards the Chinese belief. They said nobody keeps ashes in the house and many bad things may befall upon the family. What I feel is most of them are thinking in terms of human ashes. Of course nobody keeps human’s ashes in the house la! They did not consider that what we are keeping is a pet’s ash. I’ve asked some friends and all of them said they would keep their pet’s ashes too and find this whole thing very silly.

Unfortunately, my parents are taking it seriously.

Even my usually un-superstitious Dad was harping on the fact that keeping ashes in the house if very unlucky and gave a few examples of so and so said this and that.

I deem it as superstitious and I really wanna keep the cute little urn. Most importantly, I wanna keep cute little Simba.



Wednesday, 24th October 2007

The final straw came today. My mum called me while I was at work (Ya it was my off day but I was at work) and said she was really very scared coz her friend told her some stories which happened at home. She was so frightened that she locked herself in the room and asked if I could come back early.

Usually I would be a little put off as my mum always “disturbs” me when I’m at work with very minute problems. But this time, she sounded frightened. Knowing that my mum is quite timid, I was very patient with her and even accompanied her on the phone for a long time but she just didn’t dare to come out from her room. I kept trying to put her mind off the fear and suggested things that she could do in her room.

She also asked my dad to come back earlier. I didn’t ask her what story her friend told her as I didn’t want to make her more scared.

Once I stepped into the house, my usually peace-loving and highly unsuperstitious dad brought up the issue of “getting rid” of the ashes. He said that the fear mum demonstrated today was too much and he had to do something. Whenever he talks to me in a serious and grave tone, I know he really means business. However I feel that he has been pressurised by my mum. My mum must have talk about this every night till he cannot take it.

I was annoyed. Annoyed at their narrow mindsets. Annoyed at how easily they believe other people. Annoyed at the severity and gravity they have made of such a small matter. Annoyed at my mum.

My mum, being a HIGHLY superstitious person especially when it comes to whether something hinders her from striking 4D, must have absorbed what THE WHOLE WORLD has been telling her everyday. With that, she had become “fearful” of the ash.

She used to like Simba so much. A few days after her death, she still keeps on talking about Simba and how cute and guai she was. Sometimes, she would pat the urn. Now she doesn’t even talk about Simba and doesn’t dare to look at the urn.

I really cannot understand why my mum is like that.

Every Wednesday, she would clear ALL dustbins at home. And when the 4D results come out and she didn’t strike yet again, she would scold us for not emptying the dustbin or for throwing rubbish inside when she has already emptied them.

That’s how superstitious (and may I very rudely say foolish) her thoughts are.

As far as she likes Simba, she often blames Simba when she doesn’t strike, which is like forever. She would say, “People always say keep cats in the house no good. Very unlucky. No wonder since Simba come into the house, I never strike at all.”

I really wonder who these PEOPLE are and back then, I really wished she would strike 4D so that Simba would be spared from all the blame.

There are soooooooooo many other examples of her being superstitious and they are all related to 4D.

That is why I’m very sure that the keeping of ashes in the house being unlucky is related to 4D as well.

Maybe I was too forthright to the extent of being rude but what I told my dad was straightforward.

I was also stubborn and adamant. When he told me to tell my er jie that we should get rid of the ashes soon, I insisted that he talk to her himself since it wasn’t my idea.

He got angry with me and said, “XX’s husband nearly died you know or not?”

I retorted, “So XX’s husband nearly died because of ashes?”

I was brushing it off as superstitious. He said that if something untoward happens to my family it would be too late. He even scolded me “stupid” and “never use brain” for a very small matter (unrelated to the ashes). HE SELDOM SCOLD ME ONE LOR.

If this issue could even make my dad become like that, I think my sisters and I had better do something. My dad doesn't wanna take any chances. Under the wraps, we all feel that he is pressurised.

I really wonder what stories my mum’s friend told her. She isn’t at home right now.

1 hour later…

It turned out that before my mum’s friend could tell her the story, my mum told her not to continue. So in actual fact, she didn’t listen to any story at all!!! Her friend merely wanted to tell her something which happened at home and my mum who was alone at home imagined the worse and told her to stop.

We all felt so “cheated” by her fear this afternoon.

SIGH…

I don’t want to cause any rift because of this “small issue” and I sure don’t wanna be blamed or blame myself anything untoward happens to my family.

My er jie is still adamant about keeping her ashes at home. I am beginning to try to ease my parents’ worries and trying to convince my er jie to do something too.

My da jie and I have come to the consensus that if my parents are really uncomfortable about this, we will find a nice wild spot to bury her little urn. We could plant something there too.

I should learn to detach myself from her physical remains but right now, it’s really hard to do so.

Monday, October 15, 2007

In memory of our beloved Simba



It’s been only about two hours but I’m already missing you.
I thought I might see you at all your favourite spots
But you are no longer around.
I looked under my bed where you were for the past two nights
But I could not find you there.
I thought I heard you calling me
But when I turned, you weren’t there.
Your loving nature,
Your frisky energy,
Your cute actions,
Your mellow obedience
Your superb intelligence,
And your human-like aura
Will be missed by all of us.
You have brought great joy to the whole family
You have fought hard to remain here in this loving home
You have spent a fulfilling time here with us
But we know that you have moved on to a better place
Where you can be your free spirited self once again.
And that’s in the beautiful garden of God.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Simba has passed away peacefully this afternoon.

During her time back at home from the vet, she tried to spend time with everyone in the family. She didn’t really wanna sleep on her favourite chair or on the cushions. She slept under my parents’ bed and sink. She jumped up onto my da jie and er jie’s bed and slept under my bed too.

I think she knew she was going and had decided to spend time with everybody in the family.

All good things must come to an end. I’m sorry that she didn’t live much longer. She was such a strong cat that we believed she would outlive her death sentence. But some things are just not meant to be and I have to learn to let go. She did not show signs of suffering and I’m glad for that. She should have reached her paradise by now. Looking down from above, she must be telling us not to cry anymore.

I’m grateful that jie had picked her up in 1999 and allowed her to warm the house. Life will never be the same without her around and I will miss her more than she ever imagined.

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...