Thursday, October 28, 2004

Dead, I am not. Sick, I am.

Great! I’ve finally fallen sick. Everyone is happy. I am happy coz having no classes today, I can finally take MC, stay home and rest. The rest are happy, as they’ve hit the nail in the head by predicting my future accurately. They are also happy coz they seem to take delight in telling me off and utter their all time favourite “See I told you” phrase.

It’s one of those illnesses we all love to hate: the sore throat, bad cough and dreadful cold kind of illness which require few days of recovery.

I have been suffering from a bad throat since Monday. I always end up with quite little voice left after teaching so many classes on Saturdays and Sundays but the sore throat set in only few days ago.

I’m to blame. With the “yi3 du2 gong1 du2” mentality, I continued eating sambal Kangkong, fish crackers, chocolates, jackfruit, Kacang Puteh, Pa Pa Dam (that Indian cracker) etc. From past experiences, no matter how much honey, liang cha etc I drink, my bad throat persisted. Therefore instead of finding ways to soothe it, I might as well continue eating as per normal.

Then my sore throat made my voice raspy and a mild cough settled in merrily. This morning, it blossomed into serious cough and cold. At the same time, I was robbed of my voice. I took time off in the morning to sleep more. However being highly responsible and absolutely dedicated to my job, I woke up to finish my materials of rabbit finger puppets so that I could get back to work in the afternoon to present my creation. But then I got so weak that I could not even drag myself out of the house to see a doc, much less to go to work.

My aunt cancelled the tuition at night as she was shocked to hear how bad I sounded. Thus, I have the whole night to watch TV. It feels real good to not do anything but watch TV! Oh yes, I said I wanna blog about TV. I’ll do so the next time.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

If you have a beautiful face, you don't need to have fake boobs to get anyone's attention

professed Paris Hilton.

Dear Paris, you could afford to make the above claim for you indeed have a beautiful face. You are without doubt slutty (WARNING: Please do not click here if you are under 18 or if you cannot tolerate titillating or offensive images)…

but undeniably beautiful.
Posted by Hello


And all so sweet at times.
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Other than having a beautiful face, you have great hair.
Be it long...
Posted by Hello

or short.
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You have a beautifully tanned body and a sunny disposition. Posted by Hello


You look like a chio Ang Mo lian spewing refined vulgarities on your cell phone.
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You look absolutely chic and elegant even when you are all dirty and muddy. Posted by Hello


You are beautifully tall and look simply stunning in short skirts.
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You are so beautiful it blots out your fashion disasters. Posted by Hello


Most importantly, you can afford to make that above claim as you already have an ample bosom yourself.
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In fact, your cleavage is so wonderful, nobody would believe you haven’t gotten yourself a boob job. Your busts are so well rounded and defined, they look well supported even without a bra. Your busts certainly won’t look like this if you haven’t done anything to them.
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Why am I so positive that your boobs are not real? Few years back, you look as flat as a runway and all of a sudden, your anorexic frame sports an ample in front.

I am very sure you have undergone some kind of surgical implants, as real boobs made of fatty tissues will never look as perky when lain down.
Posted by Hello


So when I read that quote in today’s Life! section, or rather yesterday’s, I was quite puzzled as I thought that you have had a boob job.

Yes, I agree you not only have a beautiful face, but beautiful hair, beautiful body, beautiful tan, beautiful aura, beautiful poise. But if you lie about you not having fake boobs, that isn’t beautiful anymore. Lies, liars and lying aren’t beautiful at all.

I however, would not be surprised if the above sentence was uttered by Sammi Cheng. She has a beautiful face, crystal clear SKII complexion, gorgeous eyelashes, and at times great hair. She is someone who exudes not only grace and beauty, but a cool Ah Lian seh as well. And she is practically boobless. Beautiful face and flat boobs aside, Sammi would never utter such a phrase for she isn’t an ounce as bitchy as you.

Friday, October 22, 2004

They said my new nickname is "Workaholic" and "Dead" if this continues.

That is my MSN nickname for the past few days.

Now, for some updates of my life in a nutshell… …

Actually, the title states very clearly, the updates of my life in a nutshell.

But of course, I would expand on that point whether or not you are interested. And yes, I’m addressing you friends.

You happen to stumble upon my blog accidentally? All right, you are not my friend and you should be directed here.

And back to my point…
THEY said, or rather, are still saying that my new nickname is “Workaholic”.

FACT: I work from Mondays to Sundays. For the past two weeks, I have been giving tuition every night from Monday to Sunday.

So this is my daily routine…

After work on Wednesday, I would rush off for tuition.

After work on Thursday, I would rush off for tuition.

After work on Friday, I would rush off for tuition.

After work on Saturday, I would rush off for tuition.

After work on Sunday, I would rush off for tuition.

As for the past Monday and Tuesday weekends, I had 3 tuition sessions each day.

After waking up on Monday, I would head off for my 1st tuition session in the morning. Then, I proceed to the 2nd one in the afternoon. And finally, to the 3rd and last one in the night. After which, I would crawl to my bed.

The same goes for Tuesday. Ok let me just cut, paste and edit.

After waking up on Tuesday, I would head off for my 1st tuition session in the morning. Then, I proceed to the 2nd one in the afternoon. And finally, to the 3rd and last one in the night. And once again, I would crawl to my bed and wake up to a brand new day of work.

By now, you should be reading this entry in an automated monotone manner. That is MY LIFE currently.

Jolene is such a no-life freak and wishes to do away with the “work” out of “workaholic” and convert to an “alcoholic” just like what she was 4 months ago. Alas, she is one who has a compulsive and unrelenting need to work, one who is extremely dedicated to her job and her tuition kids, one who is absolutely responsible, one who loves to think highly of herself, one who finds it hard to turn down requests to teach more days, one who is temporarily boyfriendless and friendless and could afford all her time in the world to teach, one who enjoys teaching whenever tuitees show improvement in their work, one who enjoys helping people, one who thinks highly of herself, one who thinks highly of herself and one who thinks highly of herself.

Wait, was my sentence above complete?

[Echoes] Sentence? What sentence? That is like a freaking paragraph!

That is what happens when you have not typed for a few days. That is what happens when you have not blogged anything constructive for more than 2 weeks. You just type and type and type with no care for stringing proper grammatical sentences together. You type long sentences that goes on and on without making a point. You also type disjointed sentences. You type nonsense, expecting people to read them. Your usage of punctuation is atrocious, you ought to get a copy of “Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation”. I do not even know if I’m using the open and close inverted commas appropriately.

My English is atrocious.

I digress. As always.

I was talking about my boring life. Please do not be mistaken. I’m not always this boring and busy with work, work and more work. It happens that all my tuitees are having their final year exams on the same few dates that I have no other choice but to give tuition every night to different kids.

And yes, there was a further digression. I was talking about my two endearing nicknames.

“Workaholic” is apt.

“Dead” is better. This has double meaning. I practically have no life that I’m better off dead said some of my friends. I would just collapse and die of exhaustion in time to come said others.

Oh wait, did I mention previously that I was friendless? Ok I lied. I was merely trying to emphasize my wretched state when I mentioned that.

Slumping down on the sofa in front of the TV is truly heavenly when you have not done so for weeks. That does not include slumping on bus 74 seats in front of the TV mobile. Yes, just laying there and nua-ing away is such a simple pleasure; you would never know it is so pleasurable if you have not been working your head off.

I’ve not been watching TV since Flinestone Age, same goes for reading the newspaper. I do not know what’s happening around me. As far as I hate being a frog-in-the-well in the past, I do not give a damn now. At the end of the day, I’m just too weary to even flip the LIFE! Section. I however did notice that The Straits Times had a makeover. An ugly one. All the more repelling me from the newspapers.

I don’t wanna talk about newspapers, I wanna talk about TV.

I shall save it for the next entry if I have the time and energy to blog any day soon.

My song cannot be heard anymore, indicating that 30 days have since passed. Well, good for all our ears. Now we all do not have to listen to that irritating tune anymore. I heard on radio just now that She Will Be Loved has been clinging on very tightly to its position. I didn’t catch which position. Day1 it was top on the charts. By Day 30 it will no longer be on the charts, thanks to Jolene who refuses to remove the song from her blog.


Wednesday, October 13, 2004

I've got like 37458962 things to blog about but I'm sleepy and I'm slurring......

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Of Being Triumphant and My Darling Simba

I’m feeling very proud of myself now as I’ve just killed a cockroach in the toilet. I had to, for I do not want my Simba (better known as Baba) to play with it and get her paws so dirty and disgusting. I was about to go to the loo when I spotted a brown thing on the floor and dismissed it as some dried money plant. Baba was trying to follow me into the toilet, as she wanted some attention and food. I gently kicked her away and saw the brown thing move! That was no money plant!

I walked calmly out, for fear of inciting that hideous creature to fly. I contemplated walking back to my room without washing my face and relieving myself but the disgusting thought of Baba getting her paws dirty prompted me to do something about that roach.

So I armed myself with a broom and strut bravely back to the loo, carefully inspecting the surrounding before taking another step forward. That revolting creature was behind the door. I took a closer look at it and was so relieved that it doesn’t have a yellow band around its neck. (Do roaches even have necks?)

“Pah!” went the broom. “Piak” went the roach.

Ok I was just being disgusting. It didn’t go piak. I hate to crush roaches as I didn’t like their roach juice oozing all over the place. I hit it just enough to weaken it.

It fell from the wall and crawled towards me! I gave it another hit and it ended up on its back with all its repulsive legs twitching in the air.

Have you all ever wondered why do roaches always end up on their backs no matter how they are positioned before that? I often see crushed cockroaches on the pavement. And although they are crushed, anyone could see that they died on their backs. Why does this happen? I mean if a cockroach were to be happily crawling about, minding its own business and unfortunately get stepped on by some unwitting people, won’t their backs be facing up instead?

And since I’ve already digressed from my cockroach encounter, let me digress more.

How many dead, crushed, smashed, decapitated and mutilated roaches can a flight of stairs have?

Answer would be FIVE.

Yes, a freaking FIVE! That is the number of dead, crushed, smashed, decapitated, mutilated roaches on a flight of stairs at the 2nd floor of my block! I really hate my neighbours below. They are such dirty, inconsiderate and uncouth inhabitants. They litter the entire level below the 4th floor with loads of rubbish and because our 4th floor is very clean, they got jealous and started throwing litter on my level and even outside our door. They are probably jealous of our flat which looks really nice on the outside. Food styrofoam boxes, snack wrappers, spit-out chewing gum etc were disposed right at our doorstep! They even stole our beautiful plants! Whole pots of them and pluck our money plant to grow some for their own. I have half the mind to install some CCTV, but that could not be done of course. I don’t know what we have done to deserve this.

My neighbours are really incorrigible and I shall bitch about them some other time, as I’m still halfway into my cockroach story.

Right, where did I stop? Oh yes, it fell from the wall and crawled towards me! I gave it another hit and it ended up on its back with all its repulsive legs twitching in the air. It was pretty much alive still and I was afraid that if I were to sweep it up, it would overturn itself right side up and crawl away. Alas, this has to be done quickly for I saw Baba catwalking into the toilet. I swiftly swept the roach, threw it into the toilet bowl, flushed it and used a wet serviette to clean up any roach juice on the part of the floor where I had hit it.

I emerged from the loo triumphantly. As if I’ve just fought a fierce battle with the Spartans. That was my first time killing roaches without a can of insecticide.

My Simba is “tail-tailing” and rubbing against me right now. She’s really cute but she isn’t exactly photogenic. Most of her cute moments either did not turn out cute on the camera or were not captured in time.

Zzzzzz… Posted by Hello


Yawning… Posted by Hello


These are the few pictures of her I have on this comp.

Ever since my da jie switched Baba’s food to Science Diet, her fur has grown a lot softer and smoother. Science Diet is specially formulated to meet nutitional balance and target certain problems in cats. For example, they have Science Diet “for sensitive stomach”, “for sensitive skin” etc. And these words are printed quite largely on the packet. So when my sis bought the most recent one, I was puzzled as to why there wasn’t any of such words. I looked all over the packet and at last I saw the word “Lite” and “for cats who are prone to gain weight”. I thought that was really funny and after I read that, fat Baba came strolling towards me and I was pointing and laughing at her. Poor Baba looked at me so innocently with her big black eyes and went “meow”.

Just like this... Posted by Hello


Da jie and Er jie never fail to exclaim that Puss in Boots looks like Baba and Baba looks like Puss in Boots. I think that the above look of Puss in Boots is cuter than Baba but Baba beats Puss in Boots in cuteness for all other scenes in the show.

And these are some of the older pictures of her. The newer and fatter ones are not on my computer.

Baba Posted by Hello


Baba again Posted by Hello


I think if I start talking about Baba, I would write a really loooong entry, so I shan’t write about her now.

Gosh… look at the time now. History is repeating itself again!

I’ve got like so much to say for the week which has just passed that maybe I’ll just not blog about it.

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